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Chapter three
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I didn't bother decorating my side of the room. I didn't have any decorations, to begin with. Just putting some sheets on my bed and my clothes in the wardrobe. Other than that, I left everything in the bags they were originally in until I needed them.
Zavier himself remained at the desk for the following 5 hours. Seriously just sitting there and switching between reading, writing stuff down, and then quietly reading whatever he wrote down out loud. Sometimes loud enough for me to hear, sometimes too quiet to understand.
In those 5 hours, I did my best to not go completely insane. For some reason, upon arriving here I immediately forgot everything I used to do in my free time. I was so insanely bored that even just sitting on my phone felt weird. I didn't know what to do, feeling uncomfortable in my own dorm.
Sighing and switching off my phone, I stood up stretching. Taking the chair from the desk on my side of the room, I dragged it over next to Zavier's chair and plopped down. He glared at me but didn't say anything. I always found watching people work relaxing. In fact, it was one of the few things that made me not want to disrupt them. Sure I'm insane most of the time, but I'm still a human being.
For a long time, during therapy sessions and time-outs when I was younger, I would be shoved into a chair in the corner of the room and given an Ipad with those study videos playing. Videos on youtube of people just recording their workday, or study routine. Those 5-hour videos of people studying in silence with nothing but soft lofi audio and the sound of their pen writing and page flipping.
I think I was more interested in the smaller things the people did, not necessarily the video in general. Like their handwriting, how long it would take them to write, read, etc. I was more interested in their behavior when studying. How often they would yawn, if ever. If they would stretch or get up a lot or just sit there in the same position for 4 hours straight writing an essay.
"You're breathing too loud," Zavier grumbled, tensing up, as the tip of his mechanical pencil broke. He quickly pressed the top and brushed away the broken led on the paper, and new led came out in its place.
"You are too," I replied. That was a lie of course. It was like he wasn't breathing at all.
"What do you want?" He snapped, annoyed for no reason. Actually, there probably was a reason, I just didn't care what it was. And hearing the bitterness in his voice made me smile.
"Don't you take breaks when you work?" I asked, not answering his question because the answer, I didn't have. "You must be bored at this point."
"Of course I'm bored. But it doesn't really matter, I still need to do this."
"Why? Does overworking yourself stop you from punching a hole in your wall? How bad are your anger issues anyway?" I pressed on, thinking of all the things I could say to push him overboard.
I really was a shit human. But that is kind of the reason I'm here in the first place so why not live up to what this school thinks of me, right? "Does purposely pissing people off stop you from realizing just your presence is enough alone to make people dislike you?" He spat in return.
"What's with you people," I rolled my eyes, leaning back in my chair and glaring at him. "Why does everyone think there's a reason behind what I do? I'm not insecure, I'm not emotionally damaged. No therapist, behavioral specialist, or fat principal is going to fix me."
"So you're just a bitch for no reason? You enjoy being a shit human being?"
"Precisely," I winked, smirking gently. "You can't say you've never enjoyed the feeling of watching someone hurt."
"I haven't. That's just psychopathic."
"Oh come on," I laughed, raising an eyebrow. "You've never laughed at a crying baby? Or smiled watching someone get in trouble? I like pissing people off. I like seeing their face as they try their best to scold me while I'm smiling in return. And people like you are my favorite. It's always more exciting when they have anger issues-."
The sound of yet another pencil breaking, yet this time mechanical, cut me off. Pausing, my eyes switched from the pencil and back to Zavier. "Just shut up, for once in your life."
"How could I ever take you seriously?" I questioned, sighing and matching his cold stare with a careless one. "When every single time you prove me right."
Standing up, I shrugged my shoulders and started towards the door, despite it being night and almost curfew. "And you should really stop taking your anger out on those pencils. One day you're gonna run out."
I don't know where I was going, but leaving with the last word made me feel euphoric. I loved having the last word, and I loved leaving it on that note. So despite not having my map with me or basically anything but my phone, that same familiar feeling I always get when edging someone on made my stomach twirl.
I really don't have a reason as to why I do what I do. But the satisfaction I receive at the end of the day is worth it all. At least for me.
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A/N
I WANT AN HONEST ANSWER GUYS OK.
In all seriousness, are you guys enjoying this so far? Anything I could add or change to make it more interesting?
Sorry for reALLly slow updates and short chapter v.v I've been working on other personal projects and haven't found much motivation or time to write especially after finishing a whole ass book. I feel idea drained sort of but i'll try to get back on the grind 😤
