Dark Circles

VIII. I DON'T GIVE ENOUGH OF A FUCK

Chapter eight

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ZAVIER didn't come back until late that night. Far past curfew that's for sure. I was just beginning to fall asleep after watching some documentary about an unsolved murder when the door swung open, hitting the objects stuffed behind it.

"I didn't think you'd be awake," He murmured, officially waking me from the half-sleep half-daze I had been in.

Slowly blinking open, my eyes fell upon a not-so-decent look Zavier. I couldn't tell if he just got laid or got into a fight. His hair was all scuffed up and he looked tired and quite frankly, scary as fuck. Maybe tonight was the night he'd stab me in my sleep, I wondered as I rolled back over.

"We need to talk," He spat, his footsteps awfully heavy on the wood floors. "Kaiyo-."

"In the morning," I grumbled, shoving my head into my pillow. "A woman needs her beauty sleep."

"Now."

"No."

"Yes."

"Please start using your mouth to do other things besides talking. Maybe suck a dick or two," I suggested bitterly, a yawn interrupting my sentence halfway through.

Taking a deep sigh, I could hear the impact of Zavier falling back against his bed. The mattress squeaked. "Kaiyo, I don't want to argue with you right now, okay?"

Holding my breath, a tiny devious smile rose to my lips. "What's the magic word?"

"You dumb bi-."

"I guess I'll be going to sleep now," I interrupted, my smile dropping as boredom washed over me."

"Fine, I'll talk you just have to listen," He snapped.

A long silence came before Zavier even bothered talking again. "You can't tell anyone, okay? Not the police, not teachers, not your therapist if you even have one. You can't write it down in a diary or mention it even hypothetically. You can't tell Kera or Mercel anything. You shouldn't even think about it in public. Okay?"

I didn't reply at first. But a question sat on the tip of my tongue begging to be asked. "Why don't you want anyone knowing? You don't want help?"

Zavier laughed emptily. "Who would help me? The therapists and behavioral specialists that don't do jack shit? My other family, that doesn't exist? The police that basically suck his dick? I can't get help Kaiyo. Not until I graduate. Until then you can't say shit or it will make it worse for me."

For some reason I found myself wishing it wasn't that way for him. But then I remember all the times he'd hit and pissed me off in the span of a single fucking day and I also found myself losing any interest or pity I had for him. Within half a second I didn't care. I wish it wasn't so easy for me to detach sometimes.

Not saying anything, I readjust myself in my bed, closing my eyes once again.

"Kaiyo please say something," Zavier's voice cracked, and for some reason, I couldn't even fathom, it left a small crack in the wall I built up against him.

But I couldn't. I couldn't let myself care about anyone. Especially such a vile human. It doesn't matter how many times this man or any man ever again left cracks in my wall. As long as I had more concrete to build it up again 2x strong I'd be okay.

I couldn't let myself even begin to consider caring about a boy who reminded me more of him than anyone ever had before. The taste of barf sat at the tip of my tongue. Nausea flowing over me. I was disgusted even thinking about it.

"I don't give enough of a fuck about what happens to you to even consider doing anything about it," I said, making sure my voice was strong and cold. I couldn't let myself even begin to have a soft spot for this man.

God, I hated how much he reminded me of him.

A/N

This was a mega short chapter but uh. . .. . character development is beginning!! I don't really know what to write, which is pretty obvious with the extreme lack of updates and every chapter I'm like "ILL GRIND WRITING" and then I just don't but hey. I'm trying.

Much love, Kujiis.