Corpse Husband

32

A few hours later my eyes were red and puffy and my cheeks soaked from tears. I had gone through most of the cake somehow, I'd made sure to buy a small one.

Most of the centre was gone and the outside was starting to crumble inside.

The doorbell went just as I swallowed another bite. I groaned, got up and went to the door. I opened it and stepped back, I hadn't seen his face in so long.

"Corpse?" I asked quietly and he smiled slightly.

At that moment I went to him and wrapped my arms around him, shaking as I sobbed. He put his arms around my shoulders and held me tightly.

"I was so scared you'd be mad," he muttered and put his head on my shoulder. I stopped crying and stepped away.

"No, I should be mad, you didn't text you didn't call, what the fuck was wrong with you too just left!"

He looked down

"I had no idea why you went you just did! And obviously it was a me thing you still played with everyone else. You can't do that Corpse, you can't just walk out of my life and walk back on whenever you want, I'm not like anyone else I can't handle it. I'm broken and bruised and I can't trust anyone and I trusted you, of all people I trusted you and you let me down."

He took everything I said, more and more tears falling from my eyes, and waited until I was finished. I wasn't until then I saw his face.

His broken expression, red, tired eyes and dark circles under them. His hair seemed to drop more and it was more tangled than usual, as if he hadn't brushed it for a while. His outfit was lazier and creased.

He looked up at me and met my eye, my heart broke in two as I could see his insides crumbling.

"I'm gunna be sick forever," he muttered. I looked at his for a while, I looked straight through him and saw his scared, broken eyes and the pain behind them.

I slowly opened my eyes and he dove into them, sobbing uncontrollably. I rubbed his back softly and ran my hand through his tangled hair as he buried his face into my warm body.

I sighed as tiny water droplets burnt my skin as they fell onto me before running down my body and swirling down the drain. I could feel cold tears against my face too. 'I'm gunna be sick forever' he had said. It had taken him a while to stop crying but once he did her told me what he meant.

His arms, his eyesight, it was never going away, it was just going to get worse. My heart twisted. He didn't deserve this, he's never deserved it. Every word he'd spoken had been painful, every sentence almost impossible to say. 

I turned the shower off and dried off a bit before stepping out the bathroom and into my room where he was lying on my bed. He looked so upset and lifeless the only indication he was still breathing was the steady rise and fall of his chest. His eyes flitted to me as I grabbed a blanket and threw it at him. He got the idea and covered his face while I got changed.

When I was in proper clothes I took the blanket off his face and laid down next to him. He stared blankly at the ceiling as I cuddled into his side. I leant towards him to kiss his cheek; he didn't even blink.

"Talk to me," I said calmly

"I don't know what to say. I'm never getting better,"

I tilted his chin so he was looking at me.

"I'm not leaving you, I never will,"

He pulled away and looked at the wall.

"Corpse-"

"Stop it, I can't do this anymore, I just can't," he said sitting up, "whatever is going on between us is done, I don't even know why I came,"

"Why did you come?"

"I just said I don't know,"

"Why did you come Corpse, I know there's a reason,"

He sighed, "I talked to Rae,"

"Ok,"

"She told me how you've been while-- I had no idea you were," he couldn't finish his sentence.

"If you came for me you would've come a long time ago,"

"I don't-"

"Why did you come Corpse?"

"To say goodbye!"

I couldn't find anything to say.

"I can't hurt you anymore, I can't. If you stay with me I'll never be able to do anything you want me to do, you deserve someone who's healthy and happy, and perfect like you. You deserve someone who will be able to take you out and smile back at you. I can't be that person, I'll only hurt you. I want to be with you, I do, but I can't do that without hurting you. I'm doing this because I love you, I love you and I always will, but you, you can never love me,"

My cheeks were soaked and my eyes swollen and red.

"I deserve love, Corpse, and so do you,"

"But you-"

"I love you too,"

"I'm doing this for you,"

"Like shit you're doing this for me, stop telling yourself that. If I found out you were dying next week I would still love you and I would definitely still stay with you. If you walk away I promise you I will break. You say you're doing this for me but you're not. You say I deserve someone perfect; you are perfect to me. Sickness or no sickness I love you and I wanna be with you forever. I wanna be the person that drives you to the doctors, I wanna be the one to hold your hand on a bad day, I wanna be yours!"