RihNika
Onika POV
I stared at the pregnancy test, waiting but anxious to see my results. Sitting on the toilet, shaky hands held the stick as I felt my heart beginning to race. I could hear my little girl, Sabrina playing around and yelling all the way from her room and though she can be a handful at times, all I could think of is, "It'll be nice to have another bundle of joy."
Negative
The word printed nicely bold on the small screen in front of me and without warning, hot tears sprinkled out of my eyes, trailing like a river down my face. This was the fourth fucking time this has happened.
My girlfriend and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years now but every time I would take the test, that word negative would flash on the screen and each time that would happen, I could literally hear my heart breaking into pieces.
I don't know what happened, after having Sabrina, I can't seem to conceive anymore but I am lucky that I was able to have Sabrina. At least I have a child, this would be worse if I wasn't able to have a baby at all.
I got up to splash water on my face, the coldness of the liquid made me shiver but feel slightly refreshed. Wiping my face with the burgundy towel, I stared at myself in the mirror, before grabbing the test and staring at the bold letters.
I felt so hurt but yet angry, I was feeling so angry that I just had the urge to throw this stick, break it in half, stomp on it--- I just wanted to destroy it.
I heard my partner walk inside my room, from the way I was looking, I'm sure she knew that I've gotten the same results I've been getting for the past two years. I could hear a deep sigh leave her lips before noticing those pretty green eyes of hers placed on me.
"Negative again?" Her voice asked. I could even hear the sadness in her tone.
I couldn't even speak right now, if I tried to, I would probably start sobbing so a simple nod was all I could give her. Another sigh left her lips before feeling her behind me. Her long arms wrapping around me, hugging and comforting me which made me feel a little better. She embraced me so warmly, just by her embrace, I felt so comforted. I felt so safe. It made me feel like I had no worries in the world even though I had tons of them.
"It's ok baby, we just have to keep trying," She says into my ears before leaving a sweet kiss on my cheek.
I closed my eyes, wanting to not cry but closing them made it worse. The back of my eyes burned and soon another set of tears escaping out of my eyelids, dressing my honey color skin on my face.
"Nika please don't cry, you shouldn't cry about this," Robyn tried to comfort me.
"I don't feel woman enough Robyn, I can't even have one more child," I finally opened my mouth.
"How do you not feel woman enough?" She asked with confusion written on her face. "You were able to get pregnant and bring Sabrina into this world. You went through all that pain to bring my child here and you're saying you don't feel "woman" enough?"
She's right.... I went through a lot when I was pregnant and when it was time to deliver Sabrina, I had no right to say I don't feel like a woman anymore but I can't really control the words coming out of my mouth now. I'm so upset and disappointed.
