empty crown // bakugou x reader

Chapter 38

Last night, the healer pleaded her to take the sleeping pills. She didn't want to though. All she wanted was answers. But she was so exhausted from all the screaming and crying that her eyes shut on their own eventually.

Nobody could explain the expression she had the next morning. One thing was certain, they all knew that she was heartbroken. Her tears weren't those of sadness. They had a hint of it, but they were mostly tears of relief, locked up emotions and anger.

She walked down the mess hall with Aizawa following behind her, and they sat on their usual glass table. She wouldn't talk. Actually, she felt like she couldn't. So many thoughts were running through her mind that she felt like she was going to explode within seconds.

"Would you like to start?" he asked, referring to her letter.

"And write what?" she murmured, her eyes never leaving the large windows.

"Do you want to see him?"

"Of course.."

"Then let's start with that. Shall I include anything else?"

"No. I'd like to talk to him in person."

"I see."

A small smile formed on her lips. Was she really that calm about it? She doubted that. Maybe she was just keeping her emotions pushed to the side for when she saw him. Was it really him? She kept thinking. What if it was some kind of big joke? She sighed and closed her eyes.

"He broke my heart yet again.."

"He was forced to do so in the first place, (y/n). I'm sure he has a good reason this time." Aizawa assured her while letting the ink dry properly before he folded the paper. "You know, I always had a feeling that he wasn't really dead."

"What?"

"Of course you thought that way since you held him in your arms that day. But if you really think about it, if there was a funeral, wouldn't you be informed?"

"I've thought about it, but maybe his friends didn't want to tell me. I'm the reason he was a target in the first place."

"Then, did you ever get a reply from Todoroki's healer? You remember us sending him a letter right?"

Her eyes widened. Of course, he wasn't obliged to reply. He was under Todoroki's orders, not hers.

"But why would he hide the fact that he was alive from me!"

"Maybe he didn't wake up until one or two days ago. He was always worried about you and the last thing he wanted was for you to worry about him. He had an arrow inside his lower stomach for God's sake!" Aizawa replied, placing the letter gently inside the small envelope.

"I can't believe this Aizawa. Unfortunately, I just can't! It must be some kind of sick joke."

Was it really? Or she just wanted it to be one? Maybe it was because she was afraid of going insane in the slightest possibility of him being, indeed, alive.

(y/n) sighed and reached for the white sealing wax that was now melted, spilling it carefully on top of the envelope before stamping it with with a monogram seal of her initials.

Suddenly, Aizawa purposely hit the metal stamp on the table's metal legs, making it release a loud noise that echoed through the hall's walls. However, he was pleased to see that (y/n) didn't flinch.

"Got over your triggers?"

"Seems so." she smirked.

...

Some hours later, (y/n) went on a stroll around her beautiful garden. Her heart ached when her eyes fell on her flowers. Whenever she tried to water them or cut off the stems of the deadheading ones, she would just give up because she felt like she would mess things up due to her mind drifting off all the time.

"I'm sorry I abandoned you." she whispered.

She started working slowly on her roses, since there was no need to rush. When she finished, she made her way to her other flowers, and last but not least, the tulips.

Some of her tulips had faded, their color wasn't as bright and their petals were slowly falling apart. Somewhat, she felt that way about herself. She wouldn't smile as much, her eyes looked foggy. Whenever she stared at herself in the mirror she only saw grey scribbles covering her face. Scribbles that wouldn't go away whenever she tried to get rid of them. Was that how people saw her? With those grey scribbles on her face?

However, she didn't care about what people thought of her. Not at all. She only cared about one thing. Him.

How can I live with such an absence? she thought.

An absence that made her suffer from guilt, loneliness, anguish. But was he really alive? Was it really him who sent the letter?

And if it really was him, could she forgive him? Forgive the fact that he left her all alone when the nights took the shape of absence and the sky decayed above her head?

She sighed and stood up, her eyes glued down on the small tulips. Suddenly, the cold breeze hit harder than usual. The gentle wind blew her skirt and hair to the left. She relaxed for a bit, looking up at the sky, but her attention got drawn by some slow, nearing footsteps.

She tilted her head to the left and as soon as her eyes landed on the approaching figure, she felt as if her heart was going to jump through her chest.

"Your majesty." he bowed as she stood in front of him completely frozen in place.