BAD BOY SAVED (male pov)

Bedside Manner

Eight minutes and twenty four seconds; that's how long my hand hovered over my moms door handle before I actually plucked up the courage to enter her room.

She was curled up in a ball under the powder blue sheets, sleeping. Her body looking small and fragile but concealed more than usual in her hospital gown. I took a seat on the lone chair and just watched her monitor quietly beat to the sound of her heart.

So she did have one then.

As I watched her sleep peacefully unaware of my presence I couldn't help but be swallowed whole by anger. My hands tightened around the wooden arms of my chair, squeezing out the rage that this women caused.

Don't think of her Liam, think of -

Liv's skilled mouth moving up and down my body and how it felt the moment she pressed her sweet tongue press against my -

No don't think of that! Jesus! You're sitting next to your sick mothers hospital bed.

But I couldn't get it out of my mind and my jeans suddenly become very restricted. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"Liam? You came back?" I heard a throaty, small voice ask from the center of the room and awkwardly I sat forward in my seat, hiding certain things from sight.

"Why did you say those things to me? Why now?" My tone was short and aggressive but inside I wanted to break down.

"Son-"

"Don't call me that." I spat out.

Her eyes glazed over and she nodded her head slowly.

"I have an addiction. To drugs, to alcohol. I depend on it to get me through the days. I feel like without it I cannot live. And although I love it, I hate it at the same time. It makes me push everything away, because my addiction must come first. I would do anything for a single drop of alcohol. A single prick of heroin. It comes first, always."

I could feel the tears gathering behind my eyes, I don't know why. I always knew she put her addictions before me. I just didn't like hearing her say it. But although I'm a little rusty at dealing with her and Jax I've locked masking my emotions into my unconscious memory, so it comes naturally. Just like riding a bike.

"How could you put all of that before your own son? ... before me?" My words did seem a little shaky but I took a deep breath, settling my inner turmoil.

"You don't understand Liam. You don't have this addictive nature like me. I thought probably you would have because it is genetic but you must take after your dad."

"You don't even know who my dad is!" I roared.

"No, but I know he was a good man. He must have been because look how you naturally good turned out." She said softly.

"Don't." I warned.

"Liam, it's really important to me that you listen to me and hear what I'm saying right now because they have my addictions under control. They are feeding me heavy pain drugs through this tube. Drugs that make me not crave the other drugs and give me a saner mind.

I wish things had been different between us. You suffered immensely simply because I was your mother. If I could go back I would take that little bundle of blue baby and leave you on someones doorstep. Someone who could take good care of you.

I have many regrets but my biggest one is not being able to remember most of how ill I have treated you. I simply cannot remember which means I cannot feel guilty for it and I deserve to feel guilty.

It's too late for me now Liam, I am well and truly in this game for life, however long that is. But I want you to go far. I want you to leave town, take that girl with you and never come back because you deserve better than all of this."

I couldn't find the words to answer her. I just didn't know what to say or how to say it. She got me mad and incredibly sad at the same time. If I spoke now my voice would most certainly be broken and full of emotion that I didn't want her to know I felt.

Don't think of her, keep your mind on Olivia.

How her eyebrows winkled and her eyes sparkled. They were filled to the brim with lust. Her moist lips slowly parted and the sexiest sounds fell from within. She looked undeniably good, lying back in ecstasy, her breasts rising and falling sharply as her breathing increased to pants and her gasps increased to pleasurable moans.

What the fuck is wrong with you Liam?

"Liam?" Mom asked, snapping me out of my thoughts instantly. I felt flushed, this hospital room was hot.

"It's never too late to change." I said with coldness masking my hope. She released an exhausted sigh.

"It would never work Liam. I'm not strong enough to pack in my addictions. I need Jax. I need money. I need the drugs." Her truth made me even madder and my fists clenched at my sides.

"You're going to go back to him after he stabbed you?" She cowered at my loud tone but it didn't make me feel guilty at all. She deserved my tone.

"Liam, I have no choice." She said calmly.

"You do, I can help you." I answered a little too quickly before actually thinking it through. I just wanted her better, away from Jax, off the drugs. Happy. Normal. A mom.

"You want to help me?" She asked slowly with a voice full of surprise.

"I have... resources." I said carefully.

"Resources?" She asked with confusion.

"Money." I said reluctantly.

I could see the shift in her at the mere mention of money. Her eyes, once dull and drained of any colour were given a new lease of life. They twinkled under the dampened hospital lights. I wanted to kick myself so hard for telling her I had money. She would run a mile with this news and then she would tell Jax and suddenly it would become everything that ever mattered to them both.

"How?" She asked curiously.

"It doesn't matter how. But I could pay for you to get help." I informed her.

"Liam, I need to think about this but right now I'm tired." She did look tired, there were brown circles gathering beneath her eyes, very prominent thanks to her pale skin.

"I will leave you to sleep." I stood up and fixed the pillow back in place.

"Stay." She suggested.

I turned to face her, my brows pointing downwards. I didn't know if I wanted to stay. I didn't owe her any comfort. Her eyelids started to become heavy and my mind was still torn between staying and leaving.

I know I ought to leave but when has my mom ever wanted me to stay. Ever wanted me ... at all?

"Stay." She whispered again, right before she fell into a deep slumber. Slowly I eased myself back in the chair. Looking around her darkened hospital room as she slept, still unsure if I was actually going to commit to staying.

I pulled out my phone and flicked through the pictures, my eyes couldn't help but focus in on Olivia's perfect lips and yet again my wayward thoughts ran away with me.

Liam you have serious fucking issues.

Shamefully, I took myself into the bathroom and gazed into a very innocent picture of the most beautiful women on Earth. I needed to move past this obsession my mind had with what happened earlier. The only way to do that was to release the building frustration with my hand.

When I was done I opened up my messages and text her, just to let her know I was thinking of her... even if she didn't need to know exactly how I was thinking of her.

L: Goodnight Beautiful. x

O: Night Handsome. X