A Court Of Frozen Shadows- Azriel X Reader

03. Lace

We were sat at the table the next morning, I had not slept in the night, I was planning whether to leave or not. Looking around, eyed the 3 chairs, they were made so wings could fit there. I did not pick up my fork, or even look at the food. I had eaten for the first time in a few days last night, the soup was still heavy in my stomach. "Why are you not eating?" Elain placed a pancake on my plate. 

She had talked to me last night whilst bandaging me and had walked me to the guest bedroom. Though I noticed how the shadows moved around me, watching me, following me. "Could be poisoned," I spoke. They liked to poison the food in the institute, the place I was before, they liked to lace it with chemicals that made us sleepy, then we would wake up with fresh bruises and cuts, they liked to lace is with poison that would last in our system for weeks upon weeks, till we were on the verge of death, then they brought us back. 

Cassian laughed, "It's not poisoned, princess,"

I did not move my hands. "Where are you from?" Freyre asked me, I moved my gaze to her. 

"You three are sisters?" Looking from Feyre to Elain, to Nesta. "You're nothing alike," I spoke, avoiding her question. 

"What's your name?" Nesta spoke, narrowing her eyes at me, 

I copied her glare. Before sighing and looking around the table, everyone was now staring at me, awaiting my reaction. I turned to Elain, "What do I look like I would be called?" I asked, tilting my head. 

Elain's features shifted into a confused look, though after a few seconds she spoke "You look like an Evangeline," a small smile on her face. 

"Evangeline," I mumbled. "Ask me what my name is," I spoke to Cassian

Cassian looked at me, confusion and amusement struck in his eyes, "What's your name?"

I pretend he was someone in a bar, I wanted to practice,"My names Evangeline, but you can call me Eve," I winked at him, gaining a snarl from Nesta. The corners of my lips tilted up ever so slightly. I had forgotten my name. I was always number 93650. "Hm," I made a small sound, "I like it,"

"What is your real name?" Azriel asked, his face blank as he stared across from me. 

"Evangeline," I spoke instantly, looking him in the eye. My hands clasped together as my eyes wandered around the room, the eyes on the wall piercing my eyesight again. The rest of the group fell into conversation, however, I still felt Azriel's eyes on me as I looked around the room. I had so many questions. "Who painted- well- everything?" I asked, taking in the walls. 

"I did," Feyre spoke, looking around the room proud, were we looking at the same paintings? They were horrific, though I nodded, not saying a word. She had been nice to me, I wouldn't insult her work for no reason. 

"Well we live for a very long time, there's always time to get better," I spoke in a light voice, though Feyre's smiled dropped, I noticed my comment must have come off rude. "It's better than anything I could do," I spoke quickly, not lying. I've never been a liar, and I wouldn't start now. "I don't mean for my comments to come off as rude," I spoke. I've never done this before, I've never had to be friendly. 

"It's okay," Feyre smiled, though I knew it didn't reach her eyes as she anxiously looked around the room at her drawings. 

Looking down at the cold pancake on my plate, they began speaking again, talking about a random attack I couldn't care less about. "You don't have a real name?" Elain asked, looking at me, I shook my head slightly. 

.-.-.

An hour later, I was watching Elain in the garden, Azriel was talking to her as she watered the plants, his shadows contrasting heavily with her peaceful aura. Their pleasant conversation spiked a certain emotion within me that I have yet to figure out what it is. 

Could I stay here?

They had supplies, they had food, money and I now have a roof above my head. I'm sure Rhysand could save me if they try to take me back to the institute. My body began to shake just at the thought of going back there. The anger and fear bubbling within me. 

Sighing, I pulled the grass from the ground, digging my nail into the dirt. I am alive, I am alive, I am alive. I had to remind myself. Digging my now dirty nail into my skin, I felt the sting of my skin. I am alive. Looking up, I saw Cassian walking towards me, I didn't move an inch as my gaze stayed on his large wings. "You done being a creep?" Cassian asked, smiling a little as he looked at Azriel and Elain, who were now closer then they were before.

"Do you want anything in particular Cassian?" I asked I was digging my nail into my arm so much, I broke the skin, it began to bleed, sighing, I stopped. 

"Eve, we-"

"Evangeline," I corrected him, my eyes looking at the shift tissue of the wings, which would be the best place to stab?

"What? You told me to call you Eve before?" He looked personally offended, a hand to his heart. 

"No, I was practising, seeing if I liked the name," Maybe right in the middle, next to that large tendon, that piece looked nice and fleshy, it would bleed out easy. 

He made a little offended noise, before sitting next to me, far enough that is wings were a respectable distance away from my arms. I still moved a couple of inches to the left, I didn't want to hit them, too many memories."Feyre and Rhys want you to stay here. This is the most Elain has spoken since shes turned into a High Fae, it's because of you," Cass spoke. 

Shock slivered through my body, "Do I have to?" I asked. 

"We have people who can help you, and more importantly, we have food," He looked me up and down, "You look like you haven't had a piece of bread in years."

"They fed me quite well, actually," I spoke, they had to keep fat on my bones, otherwise 'I wouldn't be nice to look at, and that's all females are good for, looking pretty,'

"They?" Cass asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

I thought for a moment, "Will I have clothing?" I asked, ignoring his question. 

"Would you rather walk naked?" He asked, "I'm sure Az would like that," He sniggered to himself. "He really likes lace, if you're willing to impress him,"

"And what do you know of Azriel's likes and dislikes, have you been dressing up in lace to gain his attention, Cassian?" I asked, not allowing my cheeks to heat up. 

Cassian sniggered, "I know a lot of his likes and dislikes actually," He said, almost proud of himself, "Within the wars, we lived in the same room, the same tent, so it wasn't weird when we all brought women back to the tents, at the same time,"

I stopped picking at the grass, turning completely to him, he had my full attention. "Wait, are you telling me you all made love at the same time, to 3 different girls, in the same room?"

"Ew!" Cassian threw me a weird glance, "Who raised you? We don't 'make love' we fuck."

I almost allowed a laugh to fall from my lips. "Your only problem with what I just asked was the wording? So you actually fucked at the same time, wasn't that awkward?" I asked, in disbelief, the institute men would sometimes have 2 women at once, but 2 men never at the same time. 

Cassian shrugged, "We are closer then you think,"

I looked back over to Azriel and Elain, "Yeah, no kidding," I rose up. "I think I might stay here after all,"

"If I knew it would be talking about sex that would make you stay, I would've started this conversation ages ago,"

I scoffed, walking back inside.