A Court Of Frozen Shadows- Azriel X Reader

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I know she's being a little bitchy to az and elain and very bipolar but book characters aren't supposed to be perfect they should make a mistake or two. Plus, she's fighting her own battles 🖐️also she can be bitchy to elain I'm positive none of us like her anyway lol I'm considering making evil.

"What on this earth would possess you so you would say that to Azriel?" Rhysand looked down at me, we were supposed to have winowed over to Tamlin's court by now, though Rhysand had a different idea to spend his day

"I have no idea what you're talking about,"

"He's my best friend Eve, obviously he showed me the fucking argument, 'choose Elain?' Why would you tell him that Eve?" 

Huffing, I folded my arms, turning around to him, "For once in my life I was trying to make the right decision Rhysand! But obviously, I just can't!"

"You don't deserve to pity yourself right now Eve." Rhysand growled, looking down at me. "Azriel didn't deserve any of what you said to him."

"He seemed perfectly happy yesterday now can we just go to Tamlin's court!" I stamped my foot like an overgrown toddler, "I don't want to have the exact same argument over again,"

Rhys took a few steps towards me, towering over me, "Do not raise your voice at me Evangeline, not in my court,"

I clenched my jaw, "I'm sick of everyone here treating me as if I am a child," I walked away from him, having to crane my neck to look at him didn't help in an argument. "Look, I know I hurt your friend, but you have to realise that I made that choice to save him from me. To see him happy! You should know that better than anyone!" Feyre had told me the story of how Rhys was willing to let his mate marry someone else for her happiness.

Rhys pinched his nose, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before walking away from me. He looked as if he wanted to scream at me, to tell me a huge secret "Hey!" I called out, having to jog to keep up with his enormous footsteps. 

Rhys led us to the library, there, Azriel sat, covered in deep, dark shadows. "Azriel." Rhys called out, his voice dripping with power, it made me shiver. Azriel's head snapped up, his features were so sharp, he looked like a soilder, a soilder ready to accept any command from his lord. "I need your to take Eve to Tamlin's court. You will be staying there one night, after she gets whatever it is she desires, you come home and you come home safe,  get any other information you need whilst your there."

Rhysands tone was so commanding, almost nobody could say no, I bit my tongue, holding myself back from exploding on Rhysand. Azriel didn't look at me as he nodded sharply. "Good. Move out as soon as possible."

And then Rhysand left. 

I stared at the door desperately. "Look, this doesn't have to be awkward-"

"You ready?" Azriel looked at me, a sharp look on his face, his shadows frozen around him, I could tell when he was holding them back, his left shoulder tensed, though it looked completely relaxed, not even the shadows wanted to welcome me anymore. 

"Yes," I whispered, looking at the floor. He spoke no words as he grabbed my forearm, winnowing us to Tamlin's court.

I eyed the large ballroom we seemed to be in, his entire mansion had been crumpled, holes withered in the walls, vines crawling in through the ceiling. It almost looked unrecognisable. Almost. Azriel opened his mouth to call for Tamlin, though I placed a hand on his arm. "No," I whispered, walking to the middle of the room. "Oh my gods..." I fell to my knees, my hand running over the dirty, tiled floor. 

I had walked upon this tiled floor, "Oh my," Tears brimmed my eyes as I looked around, there was a table where I had been sitting, normally, and I had crawled under it most dinners, when it was busy, I would find Leelee's shoes and pull them off, I chuckled at the memory, I had once pulled off a random man's shoes, papa was so angry. Papa.

On the walls hung dead, wilted tulips. My favourite flower. "Evangeline," Azriel took a step toward me, I looked up him, confusion was etched into his expression, mixed with worry. 

"I don't appreciate the interruption Rhysand-" Tamlin's eyebrows rose up as he took in Azriel "Shadowsinger," His eyes found me, sat in the middle of the floor. "Evangeline," He whispered. 

"This is Rosehall manor," I whispered, taking in his features, his long, golden locks, his green eyes. His hair, I brought my hand to my own. When I was in the institute, I didn't see the sun for 60 years, it had darkened my hair, lightened my skin. Though when I was 7, it was an exact match. "Tamlin," I looked at him in a new light, "My brother was supposed to become a high lord," I shook my head, rising, "He never wanted to, never saw himself fit to be one," Tamlin gulped as I walked toward him, "He always said I'd make an amazing high lady, even though father believed there was no such thing," 

Those green eyes, they were unmistakable. I saw them that night, tears filling them, 

'Nirvana, stay here, we're gonna play hide and seek okay?' 
'I'll come back, with a bunch of tulips, okay darling,'

"Leelee." I barely whispered, standing directly in front of him, tears brimmed his eyes, just like those nights ago, "I never left the closet Lee," I shook my head, "But they found me anyway, I never left- I swear-"

I was pulled into an embrace, I pushed my face into his broad shoulder. "Nirvana," He mumbled, one hand on my head, the other on my back, pulling me close to him. "Oh, Nirvana," He cried, I felt tears wetting my shoulder. I wept with him, holding him close. He kept repeating how sorry he was, sputtering things about Amanthra.

"Hush, big brother, hush," I soothed him, "It was an awfully long game of hide and seek," I laughed, the tears still falling. I've longed for this my entire life, to have a family, to belong, to seek comfort, to even have a sliver of the happiness that was stolen from me in the institute, I held my brother closer. I didn't care what he had done to Feyre, I didn't care if he couldn't control his anamalistic tendencies. I didn't care. He was my brother. My Leelee. Someone I've needed my entire life, I wept harder.

We finally parted, "I never stopped looking for you. I never stopped- when I was under the mountain- all I could think of was you- how I will never see you again, how you endured more than I ever will, how I failed to protect my baby sister, my Nirvana," He gulped, looking at me, "You're beautiful Niv, I knew you would be, when I set foot in the Night Court and saw you, I knew exactly who you were, my baby sister," his voice cracked, shaking his head, he looked down at his claws. "I wanted to take you back, oh, I wanted it more than anything ever before," He grabbed my hands, "Buy you looked so happy- and- well," He sighed, looking around his manor. 

"This place was my home." my voice cracked a little, I turned to where Azriel had been standing this entire time, "I've found a new home," gulping, I squeezed his hands,  the words new family hung in the air "I want to help you, Tamlin, okay? I want to restore my childhood, your court,"

"I don't deserve this court, I don't deserve to be a high lord, this is my punishment for being unable to protect you, unable to protect Feyre," He barely whispered, staring at the floor behind me. 

"Rhysand told me of how long you have been pitying yourself," I lifted his head, "enough is enough, brother, I can help you, but you need to let me," I hated to see my Leelee sad, looking at Tamlin, it was if I had never left him, like I had fought by his side hundreds of years.

Gulping again, he hesitantly nodded his head, before dropping my hands, "Come," He straightened his back leaning to his full height, he towered over me, I felt comforted, safe, my big brother, I had my big brother with me again. "I will show you and your guest to a room," He nodded to Azriel, Azriel only stared at him back, blankly, as if he was trying to figure him out, determining whether he believed this to be one large con. 

Grasping Tamlin's hand, I whipped my tears away. 

I had my big brother.

Ayo I just found out its winnowing not widdowing lmao why'd nobody tell me