I Followed Fires

IV. Bash

Bash returned to his chambers sooner than he expected. This time, it was not to drink alcohol or any form of liquor, nor to don his hunting attire and exit the castle for the woods, but to sit down and think, something he has avoided often. He took off his tunic and seated himself on his desk chair, as his elbows rested on the wooden desk. His mind traced back to his father's words as they rung in his hears. To give up his freedom for a woman he barely knew, or barely loved even. It was unthinkable.

Unthinkable, yes, but an interesting proposal.

He wondered what made others indulge in domestic life so much. He wondered what it was like for his brother Francis to settle down and have children and raise them and wake up next to a woman in his arms each dawn. It would put all the dangers that he has encountered behind, as they perish in the fires of domestic life.

But what of Mary? The woman he has truly fallen in love with, from the day she stepped off the carriage that brought her to castle and away from her convent. Henry has told him himself that it would be impossible for him to marry Mary, as she is already engaged to his half brother. To suggest an annulment would enrage the king, as his desire to rule England and half of Europe would be destroyed, all due to Bash's love for Mary. Francis would also despise Bash, and whatever bond they had formed throughout their years together would be destroyed as well, leaving him with the bitter feeling of guilt.

All the possible dangerous consequences that may follow if Bash pursued Mary. All this for the queen he loved.

Yet if he remained the king's wifeless bastard and continued whatever he is doing nowadays, he'd put himself in more danger. Bash knew the things that would happen to him if he were still in pursuit of the Darkness, and the complete destruction of Pagan culture in the bloodwoods that brought innocent lives to their deaths due to religious sacrifices.

Bash now positioned himself between giving up to marriage and domesticity, or remaining as the bastard with a penchant for horses and hunting, forever running into the woods if he grew tired of the castle.

Whatever choice he made, Bash would have to accept the different life that he was to be given. That was another thing Bash had trouble in: acceptance.