I Followed Fires

XXVII. Adèle

It was in a glass bottle that Adèle's emotions were bottled up tight.

The glass was fragile, and so she had to remain cautious and see if these emotions were to spill so suddenly. It was true, that for the past few days, Adèle remained cold and isolated herself from the world, apart from her little brothers. Often she dreamt of returning home, but the matters with Bash never seemed to finish, as Mary and Francis kept denying her permission to leave French court.

There were knocks on the door the first night after they broke off their engagement. These knocks were often accompanied by the sound of his voice, which she grew to hate, saying words that hinted apologies, reasoning, explanations, and things she did not care about her. Still, Adèle would either lie on her bed staring gloomily at the tall windows or near her fireplace, with a book in her hand. She felt a bitterness overcome her. This bitterness wasn't hatred, exactly, but more of a sadness. But she had no reason to be sad for Bash and Kenna, for what she was doing was good, and from her childhood she was taught to do things that do good for others, even if it does not do good for herself.

This selflessness was something she grew up with, along with her shyness; and something she could not help. At times, she regretted giving up her engagement and potential marriage to Lady Kenna, but these regrets would perish in a blink of an eye.

What do I care? she thought. I'm not the one who's engaged.

The maids and servants who brought her food seemed worried about her, but Adèle would insist that she was more than fine, and needed no help at all.

The tray of milk, bread, and cheeses remained uneaten. When she glanced at herself in the mirror, her appearance made her gasp. She lost quite an amount of weight, and her face, which was once admired for its olive skin, grew pale. Her hair, too, was disheveled and untangled. Once she took notice of how much she destroyed herself, Adèle realized it was time to take care of herself.

She brushed her hair as quickly as possible, and slipped into her riding attire. She avoided an elaborate riding dress, for it would only annoy her during her morning rides. Instead, she dressed herself in a simple dress of white cotton fabric, which looked a lot like something that a servant would wear. She simply styled her hair into two thin braids and tied them together on the back of her head, and then proceeded to slip her feet into a pair of leather riding boots. She dashed off into the doors of her chambers, but before doing so, she bit into one of the pears on her breakfast tray. Adèle, surprisingly, put on a gleaming smile on her face as she headed towards the castle's stables.

As Midnight, the black-furred warhorse, appeared before her, Adèle giggled and quickly saddled herself on top of her favourite horse and rode off into the landscape of verdant fields of the French countryside. Adèle heard the sounds of stableboys and servants calling out her name, but their voices disappeared as she rode faster and faster. She laughed more than she had laughed for the past few days, and this filled her with more content than she ever needed. She knew that riding would always remain one of the things in life that comforted her, even if the dreariest of times such as this.

Adèle headed for the lake, for she planned to wash her hair and grubby hands and feet in the water before returning to the castle. Perhaps she also wanted to spend some time to think, but she has had enough time for thinking. This, she thought, was the time of freedom. Free from the pressures of marriage and having a domestic life; Adèle felt very relaxed.

But how could a short stop at lake suddenly fill her with annoyance? It was due to the appearance of Bash and Kenna, sitting alongside each other, and indulging on a plate of cheeses and sipping on wine.

Their laughter that Adèle heard from the distance made her frown, and turned away from the lake as quickly as possible. However, the loud sounds of her large warhorse running on the ground seemed to capture Bash's attention.

She heard him call out her name, and yet she did not heed his voice. She removed all thoughts of him off her mind.

No one was to let her ruin her freedom, especially not him. No, he was not, she thought to herself. Her freedom was returned back to her, and she realized how happy she felt.

But like all old tales of love and ardor, there is always a feeling of vacancy in the lover's heart after they have parted ways with the one they came to love.