Chapter 20

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I pressed the button by the bed and Doctor Rodriguez came in some minutes later, "What happened here?" she asked as she saw Liam. "He needs a new IV tube." "I can see that but why was it pulled out in the first place?" We just started at her both of us saying nothing.

She sighed, seeing that she was not going to get the answer to her question. She called a nurse up with her vocera badge asking her to bring a new IV catheter. She then cleaned the spot on Liam's hand where his IV tube was and put a band-aid on it.

A nurse came in with the IV catheter and arranged all she needed on the stainless steel tray on the table beside Liam's bed. She tried to get a hold of Liam's hand but he quickly pulled away and moved to the edge of the bed. "Don't worry about it, you can leave now. Thanks." The nurse nodded and left the room. "Come on Liam you need a new IV catheter," I said as I walked toward the bed and sat beside him. He just sighed and looked up at me with an emotion I couldn't quite place swimming in his eyes. "Um, Doctor Rodriguez? Can we please have a minute?" "Sure," she replied as she walked out the door.

"What's wrong?" He just looked down at his hands avoiding my gaze. "Come on Liam, you have to talk to me or I won't know what's wrong." He continued fiddling with his fingers. "Liam, Liam look at me we want to help you, I want to help why won't you let me help you?" "I can't," he whispered. "Why?" I asked moving his head up so he would look at me. He was just staring. Looking at me but his mind not quite present, it kind of reminded me of Bucky's stare. "Liam, I asked you a question. Why won't you let me help you." "Can they just set up the catheter?" "Not until you answer my question."

Liam's POV

Why did I even say anything, now he wants to know what I meant. I don't know if I should tell him. What if he gets tired of me. I've caused problems for all those who tried to help me.

Mason doesn't know this but my father has never lost a court case. Mason is not the only one who has tried to help me. My aunt tried to help me once. Not only did she spend a lot of money trying to save me but the court deemed her unfit to have or take care of any children.

I can let Mason and his mom go through all that. It wouldn't be fair to them. All they did was help me now they are going to suffer because of that. Maybe if I just pushed them away I could save them a lot of pain and money.

"Please, I'll tell you later. Can they just set the catheter?" He looked hesitant but finally agreed. "Fine. Only because it's rude to keep Doctor Rodriguez waiting. But you will tell me right after." I sighed but nodded my agreeing to his deal. Already dreading what would happen when I tell him he's helping a lost cause.

Mason called Doctor Rodriguez in and she did a quick job of setting the catheter. I still wasn't ok with needles but Doctor Rodriguez was nice and made it hurt less with some numbing gel. She took a blood sample and said she was going to check if I still needed the same amount of IV fluids as before. "I'll be back later in the day to check on you," she said before she left.

"Now can you please tell me?" Mason pleaded. I don't know which is better to tell him, why I was cutting my hair or why I can't let Mason help me. Maybe I should just tell him why I was cutting my hair.

"Um, I c-cut my hair b-because it reminded me too much of when I was still with him. I c-could still feel him p-pulling my hair. I didn't like how it touched my face. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't see me, I saw him smiling back at me promising that I will soon be back with him. A-and it's true he always gets his way." I looked down at my hands preparing myself for what he was going to say next.

"It's ok," he said holding my shaking hands. "It's ok Liam, just let it out," he said pulling me into a hug as I broke down. "It's ok not to be ok. Please stop bottling everything up. It isn't healthy for you. Please let me help you that's why I'm here. And if you think you will be bothering me, you're  not. I wish I could just take away all your fears and make them mine. So you wouldn't feel them any more, so you will finally be free and I promise, you will never have to go back to him."

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