Chapter 29

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TW// MENTION OF SELFHARM

Liam's POV

Mattia took me home and asked me to take a shower so he could drive me to the hospital. I didn't want to be left alone though, I was scared of what I might do to myself if I was. The only problem was that I wasn't comfortable enough to let Mattia in the room while I showered. It's ok I can do this though all the sharps are locked away anyways. Mason said to try using distractions, there's no harm in trying that. I decided to play music while I showered and for the most part, it worked that is until I remembered why I was in this situation in the first place.

It started getting hard to breathe and the urge to itch my arm grew. Ok deep breaths, calm down what would Mason do? He'd probably say to list 5 things I can see. Ok, I can see the shower door, the toilet, the mirror, the cabinet and my towel.

I can't hear or smell much so I'll skip those. I can touch the wall and myself. And lastly, something I want, I want Mason to be ok. That wasn't too hard, maybe I'll be ok. I still want Mason though.

I got dressed and headed down to the living room where Mattia was waiting, "you ready to go? Do you have everything you want to take with you?"

"I'll be right back," I said as I ran up the stairs, I shouldn't be doing that I'm out of breath already. I grabbed pan pan off the bed and went back downstairs, he always me feel better he'll help Mason.

At the hospital

"What do you mean I can't see him?" I heard someone yell as we walked into the reception. "I'm sorry ma'am, he just got out of surgery it is hospital protocol that he has no visitors, except absolutely necessary, while he is monitored for the next hour. It could disturb his recovery."

"Well it is absolutely necessary I am his mother god damn it."

"I can't go see him?" I whispered to myself. I was getting overwhelmed by everything and I could feel myself regressing.

But I brought him pan pan to make him feel better. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Stay big, stay big, I'm not tiny. To be honest, repeating this was not helping if anything it was making me slip more. I think Mama Maggie noticed this because she walked over to me and took me over to the closest seat. "Hey it's okay, Mason will be okay we just have to wait a little longer to see him. The perras just need to watch him for a bit longer."

I giggled. Mason said perra means bitch. She said a no no word. "What's so funny Liam?" I shook my head in response, I can't say it if Mason finds out I would be in trouble. "Hmm let me guess, was it perras?" I giggled again it was a funny word.

I leaned against her, "do you think he's ok?" I asked.

"Yes I do, he'll be ok."

"How do you know?"

"A mother always knows."



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Sorry it's been a while and it's a short chapter  I don't have any more ideas for chapters. The next few will be the last, thank you for reading, for the votes and lovely comments.

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