Twenty-Five: Dove

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Twenty-Five:

Dove


"So...you're jealous?"

"Jealous?" I repeated with a frown, staring at Anastasia.

"Yeah, you know in those movies where a guy gets into a fist fight for someone?" Anastasia sighed dreamily in some sort of recollection. She hands me the trowel and then resumes eating the brownies I made last night. She squealed in delight and then thought her next words while humming when she realized how puzzled I looked. "How do I explain jealousy? It's that overwhelming feeling of insecurity of almost losing someone you care greatly about. It's like when you see someone flirting or...I mean in your case...Lizabeta and Gedeon together."

"I'm...jealous?" I drew out slowly in disbelief.

"You've never experienced jealousy before?"     

I shook my head. I had, long ago when I first ran away from home. Well, the only time I ran away from home in order to try and take my own fate at the age of seven. I had stumbled upon in front of a Mother and his son, looking happy and for the first time, I wanted that. I wanted that freedom and I hated that I was born into the family. Though other than that, I never did. "Honestly? No, and I hate that feeling."

"Well, no one wants to feel jealous, angry, or sad," she chuckled and looked up at the blue sky. Not a single cloud was in the sky today and with March easing in, things are starting to finally bloom. It seemed like the Earth was waking up from a long slumber. "But that's just how we know we're alive."

"You seem like you're talking from experience," I lightly teased, pointing at her with my hand dirtied with soil. Plunking away the dead roots and large gravel, I placed them into a compostable trash bag. Although Anastasia wasn't fond of getting dirty, she was fond of bathing in a hammock outdoor to keep me company.

"What can I say? I'm a love expert," she proclaimed proudly.

"Because of Nicolai?" I guessed out loud.

I swore she almost flipped off the flimsy canvas tied between the two trees at my inquiry. Unfortunately, the last bite of the brownie fell along with her plate. Her face turned a flush pink, and a small grin made its way to my face. She batted away the idea and shook her head. "No, what makes you think that?"

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me to share every detail about Gedeon if you don't do the same," I laughed softly. The more I took in their interaction and how they seemed to dance around one another, the more I realized this wasn't one sided. Though it seemed neither wanted to make a move either.

"Hey, it's totally different," she choked out, sitting up in the hammock with a pointed look. "Totally, completely, without a doubt, different."

"Is it?" I asked, unconvinced. Though another part of me just liked to see her flustered after she had teased me so much regarding Gedeon whenever I told her about my weird emotions I felt around him. I couldn't even have a day pass that Anastasia and I didn't converse.

"You're the Queen, the wife of our Pakhan. So obviously, yes!" she sallied forth, hoping from the hammock to look over where Aleksei was seated, a few feet from us with his head buried in his tablet. He had been sulking without making much talk since the incident. Though he apologized profoundly, it was clearly Gedeon said something to him. "Do you think...do you think Aleksei and Gedeon are going to make up?"

My heart squeezed at the sight of how she looked at her brother. To be divided between your blood family and someone you view as your other family member was hard, and I hated how things changed since Aleksei kissed me. He had been more distant and nervous. It didn't take a brainer to see that it was because of whatever Gedeon had said to him.

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