Amnesia

31. He Knew

I flinched when Devan put his hand on my shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Horrible," I said.

"I will never know what it is like, but I can just imagine how terrible it must be."

"If you're just going to give me sympathy, then you can leave!" I snapped and then buried my face into a pillow.

"Well what do you want me to do? Talk about some completely unrelated topic like I don't care?"

We fell into silence, Devan rubbing circles on my shoulder with his thumb.

"I didn't want it at first," I told him. "But I couldn't kill an innocent life."

"Understandable."

"That's why Melly had the tickets for Paris. She was going to get me out so I could raise the child. Away from all this."

"Oh."

He was quiet a moment, the silence only filled by my sniffles.

"I just can't take all of this!" I shouted suddenly, surprising Devan. "It's too much!"

Then I pulled myself into Devan's lap, gripping his shirt as I sobbed into his chest. I don't know what compelled me to do this, but I felt as though I needed someone strong to hold me. At first he was shocked and didn't know what to do, but then he wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"Is there something that can make all of me go numb? Including my head?" I asked.

Devan chuckled. "I don't think so. Unless you wanna get drunk. Otherwise there is sleeping."

"That won't help."

"Why not?"

"I can't sleep," I admitted. "I keep waking up."

"When was the last time you had a full night of sleep?"

"Not since I've been here. Except for when you found me in the tree house."

"At least try to get some sleep. It will at least help."

I sniffled, rubbing my face into his chest, listening to the deep rumble as he talked and his gentle heartbeat. He hummed quietly until I started to doze off.

DEVAN'S POINT OF VIEW

After she fell asleep, Nate peeked in the door.

"Hey, are going to go to the meeting tonight?" He asked.

I had forgotten about that. I moved Scout so she was laying down on the bed, but as I started to get up, she tightened her grip on my shirt, starting to wake up until I lay back down.

Nate just nodded. "We'll reschedule."

He left before I could say anything.

I lay next to Scout, pulling her close to me. She nestled herself against me and I carefully wiped off the tears on her cheeks. She still sniffled a little, but was slowly slipping into a deep sleep. I brushed her hair from her face, gently tracing a line around her face.

I fell asleep with her, but woke up when she woke up in the middle of the night, thrashing around and crying.

"Scout," I gently shook her until she woke up.

She gasped when she opened her eyes. "He- he- he came...he found me. He killed it!" She sobbed.

"Shh," I rubbed her arm. "It's okay. You're okay. You're safe. I've got you."