YES, SIR! (Completed)

Chapter 31

Gulf's POV

Here I am again trying to hold back my tears. I promise I'll be strong but this fucking pain is killing me again.
Yes, it is my fault for trying to talk to his stepbrother. I agree with him. I shouldn't force him to make amends with Ace. But should he really be that harsh on me?

He can just talk to me. What does he mean by wait till I give birth? Is he planning to just take the child and treat me like trash after? I will never let anyone take my kids away from me. My mother died and my dad spends more time with his work so I never have enough chance to bond with him. I am not expecting to have a kid at first but having the chance to give life is the best blessing for anyone like me could ever have.

"I am trying my best to be nice to you and give you everything I want but what do I always get from you? Do you really love me? Or are you just forced because we are having twins? Do you like him now? Do you have a fetish for those guys who has teaching as a profession?"

I am not well enough to argue.
I am not in the mood for everything.

"I won't reply with him anymore." I am trying to compose what to say to him in my head but I ended up just saying these six words. I want to explain my side but I just wanna sleep in the bed and escape from this pain again.

"Should you just stop going to class? Just continue it after you give birth."

"I am fine at school."

"Well, I am not. Don't just think of yourself all the time. I am just a human, I can be mad and be tired too. Between us, I am the only one who is trying for this relationship to work. Can't you just follow me too? I need your cooperation for this to work." Is Mew tired of me now? I am always a brat but he never complained to me before.

"Let me just ask you this first, do you think I like Ace, dhie?"
I just only met him recently and I can't believe Mew and I will be fighting because of him.

"I think you'll fall for that stupid guy if you continue chatting with him. So you should stop now. I am okay with you being moody all the time but not this one. Please cut all your connection with him."

I know Mew is right but why I am still feeling down.

He has no trust in me.

I have no right to be mad because I know for the fact that I am worse when I am jealous. Mew is trying his best to still talk to me nicely.

"I am sorry, dhie."
I feel like crying.
I am scared.
I don't want to be alone.
If Mew decided to leave me, what would happen to me?
I feel like I am going to lose him anytime.

"Go to bed now."  He asked me as he loosens his tie.

"How about you?"

"Just stay here. I still have meetings on the 25th floor. I'll ask someone to send your dinner here."

I was about to kiss him when he just left the room.

I lay back in our bed and forced myself to sleep.

I woke up without Mew. It was already 10 in the evening. How can he not even text me to inform where he is?

I looked at my scar. Damn, my head. I keep on battling with the demons in my head. Why am I thinking of that again? I should be okay now. It's just a misunderstanding, he will never leave me.

He knows how weak I am about this but he doesn't care at all. Should I just die? If Mew doesn't love me, then what should I do? No one loves me. No one really cares for me. But I am pregnant.  I shouldn't be thinking of negative thoughts. But he will take my babies after I gave birth then I will be left with no one. I am going to be crazy.

I double-locked the door and turned off the light. I want to call Saint but he is busy now too. He is the only friend who can understand me. My dad will never answer my call at this hour. I realized I am really hopeless. I only have, dad, Saint, and Mew. This is how pathetic I am.

My past keeps flashing in my head. I don't wanna do it again. I don't want to lose anyone again.

My tears keep falling nonstop. I just wanna end everything. I will do it again but this time I am sure that I'll really end it for good. But what about the babies? I can't just involve the innocents on my stupidity.

Too much crying. Too much sadness.
I really want to die.

I felt my stomach ache. My sense came back. What is this? Why is it so painful? I need help. I tried so hard to reach for my phone and dialed the only one that cares for me the most.

"Yes,bijj. why?" He answered.

"Saint, I need help. In our suite...please."

Everything went black.

~~~~~~~
I woke up crying from a nightmare. In my dreams, I am saying goodbye to my two babies. As soon as my eyes opened, the tears keep racing down to my cheeks. I felt so helpless in my dream. I am asking for help from anyone but no one is coming.

The smell of hospital disinfects invading my nostrils. Everything is white. I saw my dad sleeping on the couch while the worried face of Saint welcomed me.

I am glad everything was just a dream.

"Saint."

"Do not move." He told me.

I felt the stinging pain in my belly. I tried to touch it and it hurts even more.

"Don't, GL."

"What happened? Where is Mew?"

"He was here earlier. hmm just rest first."

I can sense something bad happened. Why am I in the hospital?

"Saint. Why am I here?" I yelled.

"You need to calm down."

His eyes are already telling me that something terrible happened.

"They are gone. Your twins are gone."

I tried to close my eyes again. This is not happening. Please wake me up to this nightmare.

I saw dad got up and immediately went to my side. "Sweety, calm down."

How can I fucking calm down? The only reason why I keep holding on is gone.

"Dad, please tell me that Saint is just lying. This can't be happening to me."

"It's okay. Everything will be okay."

"Out. Go out. I don't want to see anyone. Please go out. I want to be alone."

My dad asked Saint to go out of the room with him.

I checked my tummy and all I see is fucking stitches. Did they remove my babies?

Please let me die. I cannot handle this anymore.