Forbidden Fantasies (Darkest Desire Book 2)

18. Taunting Truth

Mauw. Hey there people! It's been a while, I know, but i've been trying to work out a rhythm with the whole study thing, and in the meantime try to decide where to go with this story. I've been hearing a lot of people requesting I write from Severus's POV, and I've been giving it some serious thought.... maybe as a bonus chapter. How about it? Any specific requests as to which chapter you'd like to read from his point of view? 

***********************************************************************************************************************

Something was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

It was like this bone-deep feeling of unease settling over me as I returned to Hogwarts after my encounter with Alexander. 

Severus had gone back from seemingly ignoring me to hating  my fucking guts. It was like this palpable anger just hung in the air whenever he was around. The emanating sense of fury that permeated the air whenever we were in proximity. Frustration, irritation, like a whirlwind of disappointment and anger that enveloped the both of us whenever we were close. 

And I was going to find out what.

I could deal with the distance. The ignoring part. The silence.

What I couldn't deal with was his anger. 

It pissed me off. 

What right did he have to be angry?! 

On what grounds did he pretend to have any right to be even remotely annoyed with me?!

Had he been ignoring me, I could have managed. It would still hurt, but I could manage. Now, however, I was intent on finding out what was going on to make him react that way.

So it was with that thought clear on my mind that I realized how screwed I truly was regarding my feelings for Severus. If his dismissal hurt me this much, and his anger cut so deeply into my psyche, what was there to say that I wouldn't succumb and do something stupid? 

In my fear of actually doing something rash regarding Severus I did something to sooth my nerves. I called Alexander. Reaching him turned out not to be a problem, and he didn't have an issue with coming to Hogwarts one of these days. It felt wrong, to turn to Alexander whenever my thoughts wandered to Severus, but I couldn't help it. I had become addicted to the momentary relieve he offered from my heartache. Desperate to enjoy the release and sense of freedom it gave me not to think of Severus, even if only for a moment. The fact that part of it came from the endorphins released with Alexander's bite didn't bother me as it should have. In fact, the thought of being that intimate with him, that close, was exciting in disturbing way. It was as if my body ached whenever I was away from Severus, a physical pain that reminded me that he wasn't mine, that he would never be with me. I had done everything in order to numb the burn, and for all I knew I was addicted to the losing fight that played between me and Severus. And Alexander provided an escape, a way to make me forget about this whole mess.

So after a particularly hectic schoolday in which I managed to talk Fred and George out of blowing up Umbridge's office with a stink-bomb, I headed to Dumbledore's office and climbed the spiral staircase with the intent of informing him about Alexander's arrival.

Only to find someone already in his office, loud voices penetrating the heavy wooden doors and reaching my sensitive hearing.

Severus.

I knew it was him the moment his low voice reached me, my keen sense of hearing picking up the low growl that erupted from him as Albus's soothing voice urged him to calm down.