11. The Games We Play

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Okay, so maybe I should be way more happy that christmas is near. Maybe. But then again, family problems are never fun, are they? Anyways, I shouldn't bore you with all my personal stuff. So instead I'll continue writing this story, since it's like my way out. My means of escape.

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Why was I doing this again?

I tried answering that question to myself as best as possible.....and failed miserably.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror I cursed under my breath, unsure as that what I was doing was morally right. Probably not. Then why on earth as I following through with my crazy plan?

Having decided that Severus's comment about my "little game of seduction", I decided to prove to him how wrong he was. After all, he thought I was out to get him anyways, right? Why shouldn't I at least confirm part of his suspicion? And if it helped me get under his skin and piss him off...then better for me. A part of me was shaking her head disapprovingly and telling me to stop. But the other was smiling wickedly and admiring my wits.

But was this really avoid idea? We fought a lot as it was....why annoy him even more? And more importantly, after my discovery of he information on Lily Evans and James Potter, could I really do this? Could I pretend to be seducing Severus just to get under his skin without letting my real feelings show? If he found out I truly was in love with him....I shook my head at the thought. That would be disastrous. He was a tormented and broken man in love with a dead woman. He'd break me. Way to go Aurora, my subconcious said sharply, why don't you go and fall in love with the most unavailable and dangerous person you know? You know, to keep life simple.

Another question that haunted me was if I could do this to Severus. I mean, he was already living a dangerous life as a double agent, and he clearly disliked me. Why torment him? Why insist on playing these games with him?.....

.....because, as twisted as it may sound, I wanted him. I was selfish enough to recognize that I couldn't stay away from the man. I needed to be near him, in whatever way possible. Even if it meant annoying him and fighting him at every turn. Was it sick? Probably. Twisted? Most likely. And yet I couldn't seem to stop myself.

And here I was.

Standing in front of the mirror I slipped on a pair of black flatts and checked my reflection in the mirror one last time. Boy what had I done? My skirt was now a few inches shorter. Not quite indecent or inappropriate, but enough to show off my long and slender legs, clad in black tights. Now my shirt was also a bit different. Tailored to fit my curvy body I made sure to wear a nice black lacy bra underneath and undid the first buttons. Again, nothing indecent or improper, but revealing enough that I knew boys would be looking at me.

But there was only one person whose attention I wanted to catch.

My hair was still straight, only that I had pulled it up in a high ponytail, making sure that my red-and-black cloack was fastened around my neck with an ruby brooche. Sighing I was about to give in and change back into something that would make me more inconspicuous, but I knew I looked good, and my body refused to obey my subconscious.

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