Chapter 21

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We were walking down a street and everything looked abandoned. Cars were overturned and there was thick, black smoke coming from them. I didn't know if the sky was actually grey or it it was just from a smoke cloud that had formed above us. Everything was silent. It looked like something out of a horror movie and the opposite end of the scale to the paradise we had just been.

"Mommy, I'm scared" Sophia said as she squeezed my hand and hid behind me.

I bent down and gently placed my hands on her cheeks. "I'm not gonna let anything hurt you, okay?" I whispered as I looked around and pulled her into a cuddle. I noticed a familiar looking building in the distance. I squinted as I tried to make out the letters that were on the billboard outside of it and I quickly realised it was my old high school.

"Come on, follow me" I said as I held her hand tightly and we quickly made our way inside.

It was exactly how I remembered it. There was a faint musky smell and the same royal blue and gold colours decorated the walls. There were papers all over the floor and the lights were off. The walls had been spray painted and the windows had been smashed or boarded up. It looked like it had been abandoned for quite some time judging by the amount of dust and mould that was growing everywhere.

As we walked down the hall, I found mine and Sharise's old lockers. They were still decorated the exact same way. Mine was covered with band stickers I used to steal from our local record store and Sharise's was decorated with pink hearts and guys phone numbers that had been etched in my a switchblade.

I turned the dial and opened it up. It still had my metal lunchbox and pencil case inside and pictures that covered the inside of the door. I picked up a photo of me, Sharise and Daniel and I smiled as I brushed my finger over our faces.

"Who is that?" She asked as she tilted her head to the side.

I bent down next to her and showed her. "This is your aunt Sharise and your uncle Daniel" I smiled.

"No, not them...them" she said as she pointed.

I looked up and it was the kids I used to get bullied by. I felt myself start to panic as I began to feel all the emotions I did when I was younger. I pulled Sophia into me and as I looked over her shoulder, I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the trophy cabinet, except... it wasn't me, it was the scared 14 year old girl I used to be.

They started to surround us and I started to cower as I began to relive the days of my youth.

"Look at her, she's still fat" Johnny Diggle smirked.

"Leave us alone, we're just trying to get home" I yelled.

"Looks like Jabba gave birth to baby Jabba" Meghan Scanlon giggled.

Everyone started laughing at us but then everything turned into slow motion. Sophia pulled away from me and put her hand on my cheek.

"You have to fix everything in the past so we can go home" she said.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked.

"You have to let go" she said.

It was no secret I was letting the demons of my past affect what was currently happening in my life. My insecurities about my weight was beginning to put a huge strain on mine and Tommy's relationship.

Maybe this was my chance to go back and change my past so I could finally be free of it and live the life I wanted when I finally woke up.

"When I stand up, hide behind me, close your eyes and cover your ears...okay?" I said.

She nodded her head and I kissed her cheek. I stood up and quickly looked back to see that she was doing exactly as I told her. I balled my fist up and stormed over to Meghan.

"Nobody talks about my daughter like that"

BANG!

I hit her as hard as I possibly could. She fell backwards and I pounced on her. I started to unleash everything I'd been harbouring for years as I pinned her down and began to cry and scream at her about all the horrible things she did to me, and the way she made me feel for so many years.

I felt a hand grab the top of my arm and as I looked back I saw Johnny, but he looked almost demonic.

"Fuck you!" I yelled.

I elbowed him straight in the nose and the blood spattered everywhere as he put his hand over his face and stumbled back.

As I turned back to look down at Meghan... she was gone. I looked around me and everyone, apart from Sophia, was gone.

I panted and wiped the beads of sweat away from my face with my sleeve. I crawled over to Sophia and took her fingers out of her ears. She quickly opened her eyes and threw her arms around me as she hugged me.

"It's okay! We're okay! They're gone" I panted as I squeezed her.

I closed my eyes as I hugged her and I felt this bond I couldn't describe. I knew I was going to protect her at any cost. I would put her before anything - including myself. I felt a new level of love, it was similar to when I met Tommy but it was way more intense. I was already so proud to call her my little girl and yet in reality she was probably no bigger than a raspberry.

"Come on, let's get out of here" I said as I pulled away from her and smiled.

We stood up and she held my hand as we began walking down the hall but we came to a halt as familiar voices boomed over us.

"Tommy!"

Me and Sophia looked at each other, but I knew that voice.

"Who is that?" Sophia asked as she looked up.

Anytime she asked a question, she had the same confused look Tommy had and I found it so freakin' adorable.

"That's your grandma" I smiled.

She frowned. "What's she like?" She asked.

"Well, it's your dads mom and she's an incredible lady. She's kind, loving and beautiful... just like you" I smirked as I booped her on her nose.

"You all made it" I heard Tommy say.

"Of course we did!" Vince said. "I'm sure Nikki just came for the chicks though" he whispered but I could still hear that smug fucker.

I smirked at his comment. I felt better knowing Tommy had his family and friends around him. I knew his mind was gonna be racing and he'd burn himself out. I was glad he had a good distraction and V would keep him in check.

"Tommy, can I talk to you outside?" Sharise sniffled.

I began to frown. "Who's crying?" Sophia asked.

"That's your aunty Sharise, the one I showed you" I said.

It hurt knowing Sharise was upset and I couldn't be there for her, but I knew with Vince being there, she'd be okay.

"Is she nice?" She asked.

I bent down in front of her. "Oh baby, she is the best person in the world! And she's gonna love you with all her heart" I smiled.

She had a big smile across her face and I stood up again. We made our way back to the main doors and as I pushed on the metal bar to let us out, a huge beam of light engulfed us...

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