Icy Inferno (Troyler AU)

⋙ Chapter Twenty-Two

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
Oh I'm jealous of the rain

Jealous ~ Labrinth

 

Troye

Time swept over me as I stood on the beach, unable to move on. I was colder than I ever had before. Even the warmth from Tyler’s coat couldn’t fight off the icy bitterness that comes with heartbreak.

When I fianlly arrived home from Ironbay, mum came towards me, smiling. Her smile vanished once she saw my forlorn expression. She opened her arms for a hug. I didn't go near her, opting to get nutella from the kitchen as an alternative. Food was far better company.

"What's up with Troye?" Tyde asked, horrified to find me eating nutella straight from the jar.

"Lover's quarrel," mum answered quietly, not wanting me to hear.

I shook my head and swallowed down my last mouthful. "He's moving away." My voice was raw.

"When?"

"Today. He's already gone."

"When's he coming back?" Tyde asked.

"He isn't."

"Oh Troye..." Mum tried to hug me again. I jerked away from her touch.

I went to my room, ignoring my mum's pleads to stay and talk about it. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of him. My mind replayed memories with him, emphasising me over and over again that I’d never have any more memories with him. It was torchering. I put on music, hoping to drown out my emotions. It worked well to start with, but then Don’t Wait began to play. I turned it off hastily, but it was too late. He haunted my thoughts. I closed my eyes, wanting to put him out my mind. I never could.

A lifetime later, there was a knock on the door. Dad spoke from behind it, in his usual chirpy voice. "Troye? Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry."

"It's your favourite," he said, as if that would help convince me.

"I don't want it."

"At least come down stairs and sit with the family."

"Fuck off."

He took in a sharp breath. I'd never sworn in front of parents, let alone at one of them. I was meant to feel guilty, but I just felt numb.

"It won't do you any good sitting up here by yourself."

"I don't need anyone. Being alone protects me."

"Troye-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

My voice echoed around me for a long time. The stillness that followed made me feel smaller than ever. I could hear the murmurs of conversation below, but I didn't want to join them. I convinced myself I was better off being alone.

An uneasy sleep came over me. Dreams were filled with dread and sorrow. I’d wake sporadically, just to find reality no different.

The next day my dad came to wake me up with a cup of coffee. He didn’t speak. He just placed it on the bedside table, and walked away.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I said, just before he shrunk away.

He turned round, smiling compassionately. “You’ve nothing to apologise for. You’re just going through a rough patch. Give it some time, it’ll be okay eventually.”