One Day || MCND

꧂ Chapter 23

Yeona's POV

Huijun was sitting on a bench when I found him. If I'm not mistaken, it was the same bench we sat on that day. I took a deep breath as I approached and he stood up as soon as he saw me.

"Yeona." He greeted with a worrisome look on his face.

"Maybe we should find another place to talk." I said and walked past him to the playground just across the street. I didn't look back to see if he's following. I stopped in front of the familiar tunnel slide I used to play on with my best friends before turning around to face him again. The place is almost dark and empty with only two light posts and one of them is flickering. "So...?" I started, trying to sound like this isn't a big deal.

He seemed to be a little bit taken aback by my reaction because, surely, he expected me to share the same expression as him. "Uhm... I want you to have this." He handed me a paper bag which I didn't notice earlier. As soon as I opened it, I saw the very wooden box that contains the vintage paintbrush.

I immediate shoved the bag back to him. "I'm not taking that from you." I said.

"But I bought it for you."

"Then you shouldn't have." He sighed in defeat, realizing I won't back down. But there's a tiny part of me that wanted to take back those words. Of course I want the paintbrush. It's Huijun I don't want receiving it from. "Is that all you're here for?" I asked.

"No...No, I just don't know where to start." There's this awkwardness between us that I'm trying so hard to shove aside and he isn't helping because he continued standing here in front of me looking guilty as ever. "I feel terrible and I have no idea how to get past this." He started. "It feels wrong being around Eunchae and you and everybody else since that day. That needs to stop."

"And you think talking to me will make it better?"

"Yes... No.. I don't know."

It was my turn to sigh. I don't know how to help him. I don't even know how to help myself for goodness sakes. "It was just a mistake, okay? We don't have to ponder about it and make ourselves feel even worse. And if it helps, just think that it is my fault."

"You can't do that." He said. "I was the one who initiated it. I'm the one who had been unfaithful."

My hand went to the hem of my shirt. It's getting colder and I can already see a bit of fog in our breaths. I recomposed myself. "Okay. Eunchae is my best friend and it doesn't matter who's fault it is. We're both wrong. No matter how unfaithful you're feeling, trust me, I'm feeling it too."

He nodded. "Yeah." Then for a moment, he didn't say anything more. "But you know what? I hate that I can't forget it. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, right?" He looked at me so deep into my eyes to the point that I was afraid he'll see through me. "Or did it mean anything to you?"

I couldn't look away and he stayed still, waiting for an answer. I searched his eyes as I calm myself. I've lied to Eunchae and everyone else for months already. How hard can it be to lie to Huijun? "Look." I said. "I wasn't even fully conscious at that time. I was vulnerable and I asked you to kiss me and so you did. That's it." I swallowed a lump on my throat. He nodded and looked away. "We're friends, right?" I continued. He nodded again without looking back at me. "I am so sorry and you know you are too. We both love Eunchae and we don't want her to be hurt so this will never, ever happen again. I don't think of you that way, just so you know. And I'm sure you don't have secret feelings for me either. I'll let you decide whether you'll tell her or not, but that will only ease our guilt."

He's been pressing his lips together while I'm talking but I tried too hard not to stare at them. When he looked at me, the look on his face had changed. "I'll tell you if I decided to tell her."