The Stadium's Star [COMPLETE]

Chapter 55

The air gets colder and it seems like no one is trying to find us. Since this might be the day I die, I might as well let it all out.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

Zack freezes beside me. "For what?"

Everything.

My eyes close. "I know you didn't think I would come on this trip."

He shrugs. "I should've known. You're her best friend."

My body starts to warm and I'm grateful the darkness can hide the redness of my cheeks. "But you came with Katy. And I... Now that I'm here, you can't..."

He blinks. "You think I'm here with Katy?"

"You are," I say then catch myself. "No, wait. You don't have to explain to me. We aren't together anymore so..."

He doesn't reply, just drinks. I watch his neck crane back as he holds the bottle to his lips. His hair looks so soft my hands almost reach out to brush it away from his face.

"You seem to be getting along with that guy Mia brought along," he says after a gap of silence.

"Anthony?" I say, taking the bottle. "Yeah, he's nice."

"Nice, huh?" He looks down. "Then again, you're probably better off with a guy who wears glasses and likes books and shit."

A snort escapes me and I almost choke on the wine. "Is that what you think?"

His voice is almost wistful when he says, "You do like books."

"You read Little Women," I point out. "That's better than most teenage guys."

He snorts. "Yeah, because I thought you were cute and I wanted to impress you."

My face flares up and I hug the bottle to my chest. "You wanted to impress me?"

"Shut up," he responds but it's affectionate.

"Make me."

Silence.

I give him the bottle and he finishes it off. It sits between us, empty.

There's a long break of quietness and I'm racking my brain for something to say when he speaks.

"You know, you're something else," he starts to mutter. He's far from the state I'm in but not completely sober either. "Before I met you, I talked to girl after girl with no fucking problem then you... You just came out of nowhere with your smart mouth and stupid little smile and fucking ruined me."

His head dips as he continues. "Then I got attached and... you left. When I thought you never would."

My heart squeezes like someone has taken it in their palm and clenched their fist around it. I bring my knees to my chest, resting my head on them to stop myself from making any sound.

He's not even really talking to me at this point. The words spill out of him. "And I really want to hate you but I can't." He blinks, his lashes fluttering. "I still love you. And sometimes it feels like I'll never stop."

A choked sob releases from me before I can stop it and he turns towards me.

"Fuck. Amelia, please don't cry."

"I'm not- I'm not-" My words are muffled by my tears. "I'm just an emotional drunk."

His arms wrap around me and I bury my face in his chest. Realizing what I'm doing, I start to pull back but he holds me closer.

"It's okay," he says. "I know you're just drunk. We can pretend it never happened in the morning. Just hold me for a moment."

My tears spill out even harder and my shoulders shake against him.

Why do I always fuck everything up?

All that comes out are tears and apologies. He holds onto me and rests his chin on top of my head until it feels like I'm the one holding him.

"Don't let me go," he whispers.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be spoken but it was and I wish I could just hold his face and promise I won't. Instead, I promise to hold on for as long as I can. That's all I can do.