My Neighbor's Friend

One Step Closer

In the serenity of the guestroom of Hange's house, which is currently empty thanks to Hange and Moblit staying back with the Jaegers, I collapse on the bed with closed eyes and let my mind sort itself out. And all I can think is –

What the hell am I doing?

I left this place with a resolve to never get myself involved with Eren ever again. I was determined to keep things that way. That's why I refused to give him my contact info when he asked for it. I wanted this to be a teenage memory for him that he'll forget about soon. No reason for him to hang on to a useless crush on an old fuck like me, and no need for me to fuel those thoughts and ruin the future of a bright young man like him just so I can entertain my illicit desire. The best way is to let go, for both of us. But I overestimated my self-control. What I miscalculated was how deep I had rooted myself in these emotions. I didn't account for my own reaction if he ever did manage to contact, and that's where it all went south.

Because I am in too deep, deeper than my pride would ever allow me to acknowledge.

My thoughts get cut off with a loud knock on the door, loud enough to make it obvious who the person on the other side is. Of course, I decide to ignore.

Not a minute later, they knock again. "Levi!" Well, there you go. "I know you're in there!"

I sigh. The insistent knocking will continue until I get my sorry ass up from the bed and open that damn door.

Stupid fucking four eyes with their stupid fucking endless supply of energy.

"What?!" I bark out at their face after opening the door slightly. Enough for us to talk, but not enough for Hange to barge in. My head is going crazy already. I don't need external stimulation for that right now.

"Eren's here."

I thought they'd try to force the door open, or try to stick their head in – trust me, that's a very Hange thing to do – but they don't. Rather, they just take a look at me, sigh and say something I can't quite comprehend.

"Huh?!" I'm sure I look exactly as dumbfounded as I feel, maybe more so.

"Eren's here."

Don't just fucking repeat what you said, you shitty glasses! And what's up with that tone?! Sounding so indifferent like you're not trying to play the matchmaker here!

I wish I could say all these to their face. I almost did. But I'm not so out of my mind as to not register the words they've just told me – "Eren's here" – so yeah, I keep my mouth shut.

"He wants to see you", Hange says when I don't reply for a while.

"..." with my mind reeling with questions, I pull the door wide open and the figure previously hidden comes into view. There, standing beside Hange in all his awkwardness, with eyes cast down and hands twitching nervously every now and then, wearing the formal attire I saw him in minus the jacket and shoes, is Eren Jaeger.

He shifts his weight from one foot to another when he feels my eyes on him, still not looking up. And he just looks so... vulnerable!

Something inside me – maybe my intuition – warns me not to get close, tells me it's best to send him away. But there's another part of me – the dark and filthy and irrational part – that just wants to pull him close and tuck him away from the rest of the world. To rid him of all his sorrows, all his insecurities and shower him with tenderness. To protect him, to cherish him, to lov–