My Neighbor's Friend

Missed Opportunity

I'm playing with the hem of my t-shirt, trying to calm the increasing heartbeat. I take deep breaths. Mentally preparing myself. Why? Because I'm about to ask Levi something. Something that's been bothering me since I saw him at school today.

Why are you acting this way?

Hange's gone to get another drink and mom's left to get more snacks for everyone. So we're alone in the living room right now. I look at him. He seems as nonchalant as always. I start to feel nervous. What if I'm overthinking? What if this doesn't mean anything to him at all?

So many questions cloud my mind, engulfing me with self-doubt and sucking away my confidence.

I need to act fast, before my mind decides otherwise.

"Levi..." it's a whisper, a trembling whisper. But I know he's heard it.

Not that he reacts.

"Levi", I start again, a little louder, a little more desperate. "Have I... Have I done something?" God! I hope I don't sound as pathetic as I think I do. "Something to... upset you?"

He looks at me this time. Fully looks at me. With eyes as hot and burning as liquid metal, he looks at me.

I try to read them. The language of his eyes. The only language in which he expresses himself without any pretense.

There's surprise, perplexity which is soon replaced by realization. And something else. Something I know I have to understand, but can't figure out.

It makes me angry.

His body scoots closer to mine. He looks as if he's about to say something. I stare at him intently. Eager to hear anything. Anything that will rid me of this... this confusion that's been killing me all day.

"Eren I–"

"Whatcha talking 'bout?!"

What the fuck Hange!!!

Levi reverts back to his previous position, face masked by indifference. I look at him frantically, hoping he'll at least give me some kind of sign. But not once does he return my gaze. Damn! I was so close. So fucking close!

It's frustrating.

I fix my eyes on the ground when Hange walks over to sit beside me. I know they didn't do it intentionally, but the one chance that I got today to talk to Levi has just been ruined. And I can't help but feel a little offended.

"Whoa! What did I do?!" their eyes drift between me and him. "I interrupted something, didn't I?"

Nobody replies.

"Alright!" mom returns with nachos and pretzels. "Let's resume the sto– What's with the gloomy atmosphere?!"

"Nothing!" I say hurriedly. A little too hurriedly perhaps, considering her narrowing gaze. "Hange! Tell us what happened after you became friends with..." I trail off.

Why his name suddenly gets stuck in my throat, I don't know.

Hange notices. Levi notices. Mom notices.

Nobody utters anything.

"On with the story then!"