My Neighbor's Friend

Goodbye

Mornings usually start with mom knocking outside my door and yelling at me to get up. That's generally after 8 on weekdays and 11 on weekends. So it's safe to say that it's an unusual start of the day for me today, as I wake up on my own and the clock reads 7:39. What's more, it's a weekend.

I look around. I'm leaning against the foot of the bed, legs stretched in front and head barely resting on the edge of the bed. My hands are sprawled on either side of my body, palms lying carelessly on the ground. I gather myself slowly while regaining consciousness and becoming aware of my surroundings. I sit up straight, twist my body left and right to get rid of any fatigue, yawn loudly, then get up on my feet.

The window beside my bed is still blinded. The only source of light in the room is the other window on the opposite wall, beside the rocking chair. Rays of sunshine descend into the room from outside, illuminating the space around. Tiny particles and dust are swirling around in the air, sparkling under the sunlight. I watch them with undivided attention for a while. Then something else catches my eyes.

My phone.

It's lying on the floor, at least most of it. The back cover has been detached and is currently lying almost half a foot away from it. I can't seem to find the battery. So I crouch on the floor and there it is. Under my desk.

While I retrieve all three pieces and put them together, I think back on last night. And I remember.

Mikasa's call.

Hanging up.

Throwing the phone on the floor.

"That man's got a daughter almost as old as you. Do you understand now?"

I sigh.

Yes, I do understand. I understand how wrong it is for me to want a man twice my age. I understand how immoral it is for him to desire someone his daughter could be dating, not him. And I understand that if we let this thing end here and now, it'll be better for both of us. In more ways than one.

But why do I feel a sharp pang in my chest whenever I think of letting him go?

I probably know the answer. But I'm not ready to confront it. At least, not yet. If I do that, I feel like I'll lose whatever little control I have over myself. And I can't let that happen. I don't wanna end up with a broken and unmendable heart.

So I elude myself. It's better this way.

I drag myself to the attached bathroom to unload my bladder. Then I walk over to the basin and splash my face with cold water. I look into the mirror. My reflection looks tired and worn out. Nothing like the usual fresh and energetic Eren I'm used to seeing. I try to force a smile. But it looks so horrifying that I cover the mirror with both my hands.

I take a deep breath. The heaviness in my chest doesn't deplete.

It'll go away. I tell myself.

I brush my teeth, take a shower, then change into a pair of army shorts and a stone blue sleeveless shirt. I'm about to walk down the stairs to have breakfast when suddenly it hits me.

They're supposed to leave this morning.

My eyes shoot up towards the clock.