My Neighbor's Friend

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

"So, what did you want to say?"

We're standing in Eren's room which, by the way, looks like it needs an immediate clean up. The blanket is on the floor, books are scattered around the room; the bed sheet looks like someone stomped all over it.

"Levi–"

"What in the devil's ass is this?!" I cut him off with a scowl. This is fucking unacceptable! "Are you trying to tell me you've been living in this dump of a room?"

He looks surprised at my outburst, then blushes in embarrassment while looking around.

"I was busy with exams and all..." he tries to explain. "And then..."

The look of embarrassment slowly gives way to sadness. Shit! I brought back his painful memories.

"Sorry..." I mumble. "I shouldn't have yelled."

He shakes his head. "No, it's okay." Then I see a small smile. "It makes me happy that you care about me."

I huff in frustration. This kid! He's gonna be the death of me.

I walk over to him until we're standing face to face. My hand comes up to rest on his cheek as I watch him get flustered under my gaze.

"You adorable little shit!" I whisper fondly. "Of course I care about you."

He blushes a darker shade of red. "Y-You do?!" his reply is almost inaudible, as if he's afraid to believe what's happening.

The words "I do" are at the tip of my lips when suddenly my phone goes off. We both get startled and I mumble a quiet 'excuse me' before moving away from him and taking my phone out.

The name 'Izzy' shines brightly on the display, over a picture of the both of us. It's like being slapped back to reality.

I can name the exact emotions I'm feeling right now.

Guilt. Unbearable amount of guilt. And self- hatred.

"Hello."

"Dad!" I hear her familiar voice on the other side. And it only fuels my inner torment. "What the hell. You haven't called even once since you left!"

"Yeah... I've– I've been busy..." I say lamely. "Why? Did something happen?!"

"Nothing happened Dad! Stop worrying", she sighs dramatically. "I just called to check on you."

"Oh..."

"... Dad?"

"Mm?"

"Is something wrong? You sound... different."

My heart almost jumps out of my chest. Even Isabel can sense it now. What the hell am I doing!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"No kiddo", I assure her. "I'm fine. Actually, Hange and I are about to leave for home right now. I'll pick you up from Erwin's as soon as I'm back."

"Okay!"

"That blondie's taking good care of you, right? If not, I'll kick his a–"

"Language Dad!!"

I chuckle. "Aye aye capt'n! Now hang up. I gotta go."

"Alright! See you soon!"

My hand falls on my side when the call ends. I recall what happened moments before the call and shudder inwardly. What was I about to do? Getting so close to Eren like that, saying words about caring and everything when I know very well that I will never be able to put him above my daughter. Isabel is my life, my whole world. Her happiness matters to me more than anything else. There's no way I can hurt her by entertaining my own desires.