My Neighbor's Friend

Confrontation

I run out the door, searching for him frantically and praying I'm not too late. For what, I don't know. I look around, hoping to find him in the dimly lit streets. And there he is. About to cross the road to the other side. I take a deep breath. And I shout.

"LEVI!!!"

Both of them turn around. It's too dark to make out their expressions, but I suppose it's something close to surprise.

"Eren", Hange asks, worried. "Something wrong?"

I take one cautious step. Suddenly I don't know what to say. My eyes stay focused on Levi. I barely notice Hange standing right beside him. All I can think is – Do something before he's gone!

"Can I–" my voice breaks. I clear my throat and try again, louder this time. "Can we talk... for a moment?"

He looks skeptical. My mind goes into panic. "Please!" I plead, desperation echoing in my voice.

Hange puts a hand over his shoulder and motions him towards me. I watch him heave a sigh. And they part ways. Hange going towards their house and Levi coming to the opposite direction, towards me.

My heart goes crazy, beating so loudly I'm afraid he can hear it. My palms feel sweaty. My cheeks feel warm.

"What is it brat?" he asks when he reaches me.

What am I supposed to tell him?

Don't go?

I like you?

Or maybe, take responsibility for making my heart beat like crazy?

Yeah, like I ever can!

So I stand there dumbfounded, trying to calm my nerves and my heart. But the buzzing sound in my ears is not letting me think at all.

"If you've got nothing to say, I'll leave."

"No!" I reach out my hand reflexively. My fingertips brush against his shoulder blade. He flinches away. "Sorry", I say quietly. "Please don't leave! I–I do have something to say."

"Better hurry up kid."

What do I say? How do I express this uneasiness... this restlessness? How do I tell him that he's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do!

"H–Have I done something to upset you?" the question comes out on its own.

He looks defenseless for a moment. Like he did the first time I asked this question. But then, his posture stiffens.

"No." His reply is curt.

"Then why are you avoiding me?!" my voice sounds pathetic and distressed.

"I'm not–"

"Don't!" I say a little louder than necessary. "Please don't say that you're not avoiding me. That I'm imagining things. You and I both know that's not true."

"What makes you think that anyway?" I flinch at the harsh reply. But when I look at him, his eyes don't meet mine. "Don't just assume things on your own. What in the goddamn world makes you think that I would be the least bit interested in a brat like you?!"

I stare at him with wide eyes. So, was I right when I thought he's just tolerating me? To him I'm nothing but a stupid teenager with a stupid crush? Nothing more? Nothing... special?

But for some reason, my heart isn't ready to accept that. How can I just take his words for real when I've already seen the kind and gentle heart behind that harsh exterior he shows off? And if he wasn't interested in the first place, he wouldn't have led me on the day we met. Levi is not that kind of a person. That much I'm sure of.