𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒

「 upon waking up 」

chapter forty one

「 upon waking up 」

♱

   IT WAS PITCH black. Darkness like she'd never faced before. Nothing existed there. Yet, she was stood up, walking. It was like she was submerged in the depths of the ocean. Surrounded by motionless time and space, she was stuck. But there wasn't that usual silence that greeted her as a friend or a foe. No, there were voices all around her, arguing and shouting, which was far worse. All she could hear were random words, spilling from all directions. It was like she was going crazy - that wasn't exactly far fetched though, was it?

   And even though the voices contorted her mind, she found this black abyss soothing as she floated about as the world passed her by. No responsibility, no worries, and no guilt. It felt like how she thought death would. A part of her finally felt complete. Death was a kindness and she'd likely play her whole life playing cat and mouse with the infamous grim reaper. It refused to give her the sweet tender kiss of death and all she could do was fantasise about the eternity of peaceful slumber. This was the closest that she was going to get: for now.

   That would never last forever. As she floated through nothingness, she was interrupted by the rupturing of darkness. A dot turned into a blob which turned into a blur that turned into a figure. She didn't recognise them at all. With jet black hair, piercing blue eyes, light russet skin, and a mischievous smile that matched her own; she was so familiar and yet Eleanor couldn't place a name to the face. They held out their hand as an offering, trying to pull her along to the light that was glistening in the distance. Either to die or to be brought back to the land of the living. It was always the opposite of what one that wanted. But she didn't refuse. Her pale hand reached out to the kind looking woman. There was still that small chance...

   Being guided through the abyss was pleasant for the simple reason that she didn't have to do anything. Someone was being the one to make the decisions for her, it was a sensation that she'd miss very soon. Her body was being tugged, slowly but harshly like this woman was scared of something.

  "Eleanor." The woman cried, fear ripping through her voice. "I know it's hard but it's not time to go." She urged, pulling her a rag doll. Eleanor felt nothing. "Us Knightley woman never give in." But she wanted to go. No matter what this comforting woman said. She had no option, though. The light became blinding and all feeling became alight in her body. Her fingertips became fuzzy as she finally got a sense of the really world.

   When her eyes flickered open, she wasn't quite sure were she was. Everything was different from when she last closed her eyes. It was the hospital wing. Well, this was odd. When she fainted in the past, she'd wake up only moments later. She'd experienced that water world once before, when she overdosed...

   As she took in her surroundings, she realised that someone was holding her hand. Craning her head to the left, she was met with Remus who was staring into the abyss with a tear stained face. What had happened? It was like her instincts had kicked in, to help. But she stopped her self, Lily's words coming to haunt her. She never really helped anyone, only made the problem worse. Just like she had done now.

"R- Remus." She croaked, barely audible as she squeezed his hand. The boy instantly looked up, his eyes were wide as if he had seen a ghost. "Are you okay?" Eleanor whispered, causing the boy to smile sadly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." The girl spoke desperately, she hadn't talk to him since the full moon. She didn't know how to, still didn't. Maybe he wouldn't ask. "I didn't mean to..." She pleaded, hoping for his forgiveness.