And I still get those stupid butterflies | W.S

Understand

It was Halloween and today me and Wilbur were in my room stuffing our faces with candy and watching Halloween movies. I was overthinking and stressed today. I just kept thinking about the doctor's appointment that I have in a couple of weeks. What if they tell me my cancer is getting worse or I only have a couple of months to live or worse days to live.

"Paige what's wrong." He grabbed my hands. I didn't even notice my nails were digging into my thighs. So much so red marks were marked all over my legs.

"Um...nothing is wrong." I lied and he knew it he could read me like an open book.

"I know your lying please just tell me what's wrong so I can help." I sighed putting my hands on his shoulders.

"I'm just stressed about the appointment. They could say something bad like that I could die" He flinched at the word.

"Please don't say that. Just relax don't think about it everything is going to be okay." I couldn't just stop thinking about it. It's not that simple.

"I know you're just trying to help but there are so many factors. Like what happens if I go to the doctor's appointment and they say my cancer is getting worse. There is always a chance of that happening." He grabbed my hand placing it in his.

"But there is always a chance of them saying your better and not to jinx it or anything but they could say your cancer-free." Those words seem like they will never be told to me. It seems like something so far away.

"Yeah I know that's a possibility." 'A possibility that's small very small.'

"Can you do me a favor?" He asked and I nodded my head yes.

"Stop seeing the negative in everything."

"I will try." He grinned at me. I knew this is gonna be a hard thing to stop doing. But at least I will try. I got up grabbing my journal and pen from my nightstand and sat back down. Writing my thoughts on the white piece of paper.

"Are you still not going to tell me what's in there."

"Nope but you will eventually find out."