Diana. (Book 1)A One Direction fan fiction.

Chapter 13 - Everything Can Change.

'I guess I thought I could push you away like everyone else... it didn't work this time'

I press tweet, letting my words surface on Twitter. I've stayed in mine and Cher's room since Cody first met One Direction and Cher, two days ago. I haven't eaten, haven't slept. Seeing Cody made me think of Riley and Lucas, all the emotions of losing them hit me hard again. They were like a wave crashing over me, drowning me, yet everyone around me could breathe.

"Hey love." Cody enters the room and smiles at me slightly. He sits beside me but moves me so my back is against his chest, with his head leaning on my left shoulder.

"Hey." I whisper quietly. My phone buzzes for the hundredth time, with another text from Zayn. I'm so annoyed by him at this point so I throw my phone and both Cody and I hear it shatter. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Cody whispers to me.

"No it's not." I reply. "They're gone because of me, because someone wants to kill me. They got caught in the cross fire."

"They loved you, Diana. They would be so proud of you." Cody whispers to me. "Your mum called me."

"I don't have a mum." I reply quietly, already wanting to change the subject.

"She wants to see you." He doesn't drop the subject. "She and Chris, split up almost a year ago."

"I don't care what happened between her and Chris." I mumble. Chris is my father. "She's still not my mother."

"No, she's your blood!" Cody replies.

"Blood doesn't mean anything when you get left unconscious in a hospital." I yell back.

"Blood means family!" He raises his voice louder than mine.

"I don't have any family left, Cody." I don't let my voice go louder than his was. "No one loves me anymore."

"I love you, Diana, more than I'll ever care to admit. More than you'll ever care to believe." He softens his voice.

"I think you should go." I say and open the bedroom door and walk down the stairs, opening the front door too.

"Diana." He sighs, I don't answer and when he walks out, I close the door behind him.

"Oh Diana, I was just looking for you. Colbie Caillat is here for you two to practice." Cheryl tells me. I nod and follow her to the practice room.

"Hey." A girl with dirty blonde hair, sits at the piano.

"Hey." I reply with a smile.

"So Diana, here are the words, and the music. You can play guitar correct?" Cheryl asks and I nod. She smiles and hands a guitar to me with sheet music.

"Okay, I'll sing through what we'll be singing and then we can go from there." Colbie tells me with a smile.

"Okay." I agree. She plays the intro chords and starts singing.

"I miss those blue eyes,
How you kiss me at night,
I miss the way we sleep,
Like there's no sunrise,
Like the taste of your smile,
I miss the way we breathe,

But I never told you,
What I should have said,
No, I never told you,
I just held it in,

And now I miss everything about you,
I can't believe it, I still want you,
After all the things we've been through,
I miss everything about you,
Without you, woah...

I see your blue eyes,
Every time I close mine,
You make it hard to see,
Where I belong to,
When I'm not around you,
It's like I'm not with me,

But I never told you,
What I should've said,
No, I never told you,
I just held it in,

And now I miss everything about you (still you're gone),
I can't believe it, I still want you (and I'm lovin you, I should've never walked away),
After all the things we've been through (I know it's never gonna come again),
I miss everything about you,
Without you, woah...

But I never told you,
What I should've said,
No, I never told you,
I just held it in." She slowly fades out and I snap back into reality. The only thought in my mind while listening to that, was Zayn.

"That was bloody amazing." I state and she starts laughing.

"Thank you." She gives me a big smile and we start our practice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Oh sorry I didn't realize anyone was out here." I turn around from my seat on the patio chair to face the person.

"Zayn." I sigh quietly. I stand up, toss him his cigarettes and his lighter and hug my arms against my chest. "They belong to you. I don't want to go through what I did. Again."

"I'm sorry." He says as I pass him in the hall. "We were fake dating, I didn't have the right to develop feelings for you. But I did and I still haven't figured out how to get over them."

"I can't deal with this right now." I say, my voice cracking at the end.

"What's going on, Diana?" He asks softly, taking a step towards me. "You can tell me."

"Last time I checked we were fighting so let's just go back to that." I say building back up the walls I let him kick down. I was so stupid to let him get through my defences. I run my hand through my hair and sigh quietly. "Goodbye Zayn."

"Diana, please. Just give me another chance." He pleads.

"Not everyone deserves one." I mutter and walk away. I can't believe I agreed to fake dating him. I let him in, I let my walls down, how was I so stupid? But when we kissed I didn't feel so alone, I felt wanted, I felt needed. I felt like I was worth something. He made me realize that after you go through shit, life is still worth living.

"Diana?" Cher says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I ask quietly.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, she looks concerned. I won't tell her the truth, I won't tell anyone the truth. It's not worth explaining.

"All good." I plaster a fake smile on my face and she goes back to her lyrics page.

Isn't it funny how everything can be perfect, I used to have the perfect boyfriend, living with the perfect family, having a damn near perfect life. Until one day, everything changes. You become this completely different person. I used to be the girl who got good grades and pleased her parents. And now, I'm rebounding off drinking alcohol and getting drunk every night. My parents gone. My family gone. Everything can change in a split second. We all know that can happen. We just don't think it will happen to us.