Diana. (Book 1)A One Direction fan fiction.

Chapter 11 - We're Baking Cupcakes.

"Who?" He asks, he seems shocked yet he keeps calm.

"Someone who's in the past." I reply quietly. "He's a part of my past that no one knows, that no one cares about."

"Well I care." Zayn says.

"Do you really? If you knew, knew my past you wouldn't care." I say, my voice getting louder.

"Then tell me!" He yells.

"My parents were just getting a divorce after months of my father cheating on my mother and my brother had just died. I turned to drugs, alcohol, I ran away. I was one of the students who hung out in the stoner pit because they were skipping class. And the last time I did drugs I overdosed. I woke up in the hospital three days later, my parents no where to be seen. They both ran away, they left a letter blaming me for their divorce. It said they were going to go get married and live a happy life, have a child that isn't a failure or a disappointment. With my parents gone I started working in a bar, after my shift was done I'd get so drunk that I'd go home with random men, wake up in places I didn't remember being at. I met Riley the day I woke up in Lucas' room. He'd taken me home and let me sleep in his room while he took the couch. He saved me from my own destruction." I say and have tears streaming down my face at this point. "And the guy I fell in love with, we were in high school. He was perfect, the school quarter back, popular, but he had a heart. We met when he was dating the head cheerleader. When he was supposed to be getting the winning touchdown at the last game of the season, he was in the pouring rain, trying to find me. We were together a year and two months and twenty two days. He got sick, he had a tumour in his brain. He died during surgery on August 12th 2009. That's why I had the Roman numerals before I got more. He wasn't just the one I loved, he was my best friend. We talked about getting married, living the rest of our lives together. So I have three tattoos. One for him, one for my brother, and one for Riley and Lucas. All of them are the date they died in Roman numerals. All on the inside of my forearm."

"Wow." Is all Zayn can say.

"I think you should go." I tell him. He leaves the room and I lay down on my bed, letting the tears fall.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When I wake up the next morning it's half past five, I see Cher still asleep on her bed. I head downstairs into the piano room and practice for the live show this week. I play the notes on the piano over and over again and I only stop because One Direction came into the room to practice.

"Morning Diana." Niall says.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Almost ten." He replies.

"Oh. I've been down here for four and a half hours." I say to no one in particular.

"You've been up since half past five?" Liam asks surprised.

"Yeah, I'm going to go for a run." I say and go grab capri yoga pants, a tank that cuts down at the sides and shows my sports bra. I slip running shoes onto my feet and pull my hair up into a pony tail. I change in the bathroom and grab my phone along with the armband and headphones, leaving the house. I run for three hours, when I get to Lucas' place I go inside and start packing some boxes. I take a backpack and place some of his sweaters in it and a picture of me, him and Riley. I zip it up and walk back to the X Factor house. When I get inside I see Zayn sitting on the living room couch so I head up to my room, grabbing a pen and my journal.

I'm not gonna lie, this is hard. When you have to pretend you're okay just because you can't explain to everyone why you're not. They wouldn't understand if you tried to. And you hide every emotion you have. At one point you get swallowed by the darkness, it consumes you to the point where there's no going back. To the point where's there nothing to go back to. You're left alone to fight a battle against your darkest demons with no help. You also battle against yourself, fighting the urge to give up on everything. All because you have no help.