Tales from STH Academy (A Wattpad Tale)

STH Academy/Mobian Advice

1. Sonic's always going to be faster than you. Do not challenge Sonic to a race. He will beat you, super speed or not.

2. Singing "Casa Maria" to Shadow is in poor taste. Please be respectful to him.

3. Following Shadow and saying "I'm Shadow's shadow" is only cute and funny the first time.

4. Writing Sonadow and showing Headmaster Sonic is tacky, annoying and plain rude. He has papers to grade and he has zero tolerance for that sort of nonsense.

5. Asking the Werehog about the updog is neither original nor hilarious.

6. I will refrain from calling showering "Giving the ghosts an eyeful."

7. Searching porn is not extra credit from Professor Rouge.

8. I will not call any Classic "shorty".

9. Knuckles is not stupid. He will not buy the "The Werehog pack attacked me and ate my homework" as an excuse.

10. I will never ask Professor Blaze "What's new, pussycat?"

11. I will not refer to searching for digital parts as "Finding porn for Eggman's robots!"

12. Playing with your tail in Green Hill Zone is perfectly fine. However, "playing with your tail" in Green Hill Zone is not.

13. Asking Professor Charmy if he got bees in his bonnet is not clever or original. It's tacky.

14. I will refrain from telling any time travel jokes to Professor Silver.

15. Giving Professor Vector fools gold is ill advised and not original. Plus, I will not call any illicit activities that I participate with Professor Vector "extra credit." This includes counterfeit and producing gangshot.

16. I will not call undressing "an attempt to outdo Professor Rouge."

17. Making a virus is not extra credit for Professor Tails. Same goes for making his ability to spin on his own tails a meme.

18. I will not make a Harry Potter reference to Professor Espio.

19. "How do you keep a hedgehog in suspense?" was only funny the first time around for any Hedgehog teachers.

20. I will refrain from calling Professor Tails "Professor Miles Prower."

21. Rings are currency, so it's handy to keep a couple on hand.

22. I will not ask any teacher at STH Academy out on a date. It's borderline creepy and unprofessional.

23. I will never ask Sonic about Elise. It's his personal business, and he will never tell you. He is the Headmaster and he has no desire to ruin his life just to tell you about any romance he might've had.

24. Chemical Plant Zone is not a place for a chemical skin peel.

25. Chaos emeralds are not allowed during any romantic endeavor.

26. Angel Island is not a nude colony.

27. I will not refer to sex as "werehog love/ romance." That is rude, crude, and disgusting.

28. I will refrain from referring to Sonic's lycanthropy as his "time of the month."

29. Asking Amy if she got hammered will only earn you a death glare and a proper introduction to her own hammer.

30. Only girls can ask Chip if he has chocolate. Chip has the STH Academy black market for chocolate of all kinds.

31. Writing ships for any Mobian is in poor taste.

32. I will not say that Irish is "after me lucky charms." I can, however, call him Jacksepticeye and a potato.

33. Shadow does like cats, so if you do save an orphan kitten, Mobian or otherwise, he can help you.

34. Sonic wearing bandages was so 2014.

35. The Master Emerald is off limits at all times, so it's poorly advised to do the thing on it at any time.

36. Iblis trigger is so 2006 and outdated that it makes Grumpy Cat look like a new meme.

37. It's a good idea to stay out of Sonic's way after a full moon.

38. Calling Dr. Egg man "Mister Chicken Fétus" is not funny, but tacky and inappropriate.

39. Be nice to Rouge (specifically, no hooker jokes).

40. It is not funny to teach Cream about the birds and the bees.

41. I will not serenade the Werehog a rendition, "Who Let the Hogs Out?"

42. I will not ask a werehog, "What are you were-ing?" That's just asking for pain.

43. Asking Sonic "Howl you doing?" Is not a good idea. It's ill advised to do so.