Tales from STH Academy (A Wattpad Tale)

An interview with Sonic

???: So, Sonic, I've been thinking. How did you get to running STH Academy if you are also a hero?

Sonic: Sometimes I have to stop Eggman, but Eggman can't be doing something evil all the time. He sometimes has long periods to plan something horrible. If Eggman is quiet for a month, it's a month I could be spending here. Plus, I started STH Academy because I noticed that there are humans out there who are scared of me, like my adopted daughter.

???: You have an adopted daughter? What is she like?

Sonic: She's very sweet, beautiful and kind. Unfortunately she's also terrified of me. I adopted her for a few good reasons, but I'm not divulging them to you, Sage.

Sage: Is this because I'm Eggman's daughter?

Sonic: Exactly.

Sage: Is she good?

Sonic: *chuckles* Yes... For the most part. Just wished she hadn't joined that rebel group known as Survivors of STH Academy. It makes my job at being her parent that much more difficult. At least Airalain is easier to manage.

Sage: Who's that?

Sonic: My other daughter. She is Ali's twin sister. She had a horrible accident with Eggman when she was a child, which is why she looks like me.

Sage: Sorry. Anything else you want to say about Ali?

Sonic: Yes. She's on the autism spectrum. That means that her brain is different from everyone else's. She has her struggles. One of those struggles tie directly to me. She perceives me as this monster that's going to eat her if she puts a single foot out of line. But I'm harmless. Another struggle would be recognizing her own weaknesses. She struggles heavily with keeping a conversation going. She also has difficulty asking me for any help.

Sage: What do you mean?

Sonic: When Ali doesn't know something, she's known for getting irritated in class. But she doesn't ask for help because she thinks it's a sign of weakness. She also has difficulty maintaining eye contact. I asked her to look me in the eyes for a minute and she only glanced for fifteen seconds before glancing away again. She complained about getting a migraine. I thought she was looking for an excuse to avoid eye contact with me. I was wrong. I noticed a similar interaction she had with Shadow, but instead of letting her look away, he forced her to maintain eye contact. I walked in as she screamed at him that it felt like he was poking her in the eyes. I broke them up and asked Ali if that's how it truly felt to her.

Sage: What was her answer?

Sonic: Ali couldn't answer. She was gripping her head as if she was in pain. I had to wrap her in a weighted blanket for thirty minutes.

Sage: So Ali hates eye contact?

Sonic: Yes. She also has a deep seated hatred for some symbol from Earth. I think it's called a swastika. When I showed her one, she growled at it and told me, "Set that fucking thing on fire." Those were her exact words. I was surprised that she was able to hold any sort of hostile behavior.

Sage: Does she ever act hostile around you?

Sonic: Only if I was taking one of her kids to talk to them.

Sage: Ali has kids?

Sonic: Yes, five of them. She's a force to be reckoned with if anyone was stupid enough to bully her kids... Or stupid enough to kidnap them.

Sage: Back to something you said. You said that there are humans who are afraid of you?

Sonic: Yeah. Most of them are from super conservative Christians who view me as Satan incarnate. That's honestly quite stupid to be honest. I bet Eggman told you about our battles?

Sage: Yes. But is Ali scared of you for religious reasons?

Sonic: No. She never actively told me why, but I read her diary. I think the reason why she's afraid of me ties into her fear of losing control. You see, Ali has this inner desire to be the best and the one in control of a situation. Since I'm what Eggman calls a wild card, I essentially act like Ali's polar opposite. It could also be tied to something that happened to Airalain as a baby. Or Ali could be scared of going too fast and injuring herself. I don't know. But it's definitely not a religious reason.

Sage: I heard there's another timeline.

Sonic: Yes. Unfortunately in that timeline, a kid from STH Academy died because she was foolish enough to cross me. But we don't talk about that.

Sage: Why?

Sonic: That's a story that belongs on AO3, not Wattpad.

Sage: Wattpad?

Sonic: Yes. That's where this interview is published.

Sage: Are you breaking the fourth wall?

Sonic: Technically yes. But Sage, don't do it too often. Wattpad really doesn't like the fact that I can easily interact with my audience, so I only use it in emergencies or to make my point known. Plus, who knows what slimy freaks of nature are out there drawing all of us in a tasteless manner?

Sage: I am going to pretend that I didn't hear that and just end the conversation here.

Sonic: Okay. If you have any more questions, let me know in my Ask Headmaster Sonic book. I kinda took over Puddie's Wattpad account while that slimy, lustful, wine swilling c-!

Ali: Headmaster Sonic. I hope you ain't teaching Sage the c word! Last I checked, you're not from Australia. Don't be throwing that word around.

Sonic: Your timing is beautiful, darling. But ANYWAY, go check out my ask Headmaster Sonic book. You probably have more burning questions about me.