My Girl, Hwang Yeji | Ryeji

Chapter 20

My eyes was stuck staring at the blue sky while my right arm was resting near the guardrail of this small window. The sky looks really pretty...I wonder how it feels to float on the clouds or fly together with the wind...I remember feeling that way with Yeji and up until now I could still feel it whenever I think of her.

"Ryujin..." I turned my head to the now, open door, there I saw my mom.

I smiled at her. She closed the door before walking towards my bed where I was seated.

"How are you?" she asked and put her handbag behind.

"I don't know how long should I pretend that I'm insane when I'm clearly not...I think I'm getting more mentally ill here, mom..." I said with my tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I told you, let's stop this, baby..." mom cups my face as she wipes those racing tears on my cheeks. "Serving in prison for 11 years isn't that bad. Once you get out of that hell, no one will call you a murderer anymore. Baby...please?"

"Mom...I can't...I can't live without Yeji. I need to think of her everyday...I need to create fake stories in my mind to keep myself alive...mom...I can't..." they say, truth hurts so you need to cover it with lies.

Mom hugged me before holding my right hand, "here, I only got the classic hallucinogens—" she said while putting a pack of hallucinogens in my palm. "I'm doing this for you because you're my daughter after all...and I wasn't able to watch over you while growing up when I thought I knew you all along...Ryujin...I need you to keep living for me..."

My tears poured like a heavy rainfall that I couldn't stop. I wasn't the Tuk, a successful author, there was no Yeji who's a businesswoman...there's no such thing like those because they were all in my imagination...and as long as I can, I will. I'll keep imagining things that will never happened at all.

I can't live without Yeji.

If only I didn't chose to cheat. If I was only more matured to understand things. If only I didn't cheat to shut her away...

(Flashback)

"I want to be in your world, Ryuddaeng. I don't care about what would my dad think." Yeji held my hand while we're under the dim light with loud music, "if this is your world then I'm willing to come in just to be with you..." with that, I finally got my first kiss from my first love.

"Darling, you don't need to, okay? I was wrong when I brought you here in the very first place but I can promise you now, you'll be my everything and will be my dearest miracle." I said with our forehead sticking with one another as she puts her hand around my nape.

"All along I wanted to be in your world...reeking smell of alcohol, smokes from cigarettes, loud music...as long as I'm with you I'm happy. Happy 18th birthday, Ryuddaeng...and happy 3rd anniversary." Yeji sealed my lips with a kiss one more time.

My eyes smiled as I pull her out of the bar. Yeji wants to be in my world but that doesn't mean I'll let her abandon her own world.

"I want to be in your world too." I said as we walks toward the parking lot where I parked the car, "I love to be in this silent area...let's watch the moon together with me, wearing my favorite sweater. What a good night, celebrating our 3rd anniversary like this." I carried Yeji to put her up on the bumper of my car before hopping up to sit beside her.

"What's your dream now? Do you have any now that you're 18, miss ma'am?" Yeji asked with a smile on her face.

"I want to be with you for the rest of my life just like what I answered when I was 13 but this time, I'm more certain." I said which made her chuckle.