My Girl, Hwang Yeji | Ryeji

Chapter 18

Watashi No Ai

CHAPTER 35

With the whole living room being a mess because of the scattered pieces of broken glass from vases, drinking glasses, and glass table— there's Mom who's still trying to reach out for me with a terrified look on her face.

"W-What do you want, Ryujinnie? Mom can give you everything...come on, it's your 15th birthday, I'll give you everything.." she stated, trying to reach for me as I'm seated here on the corner of the shelf, surrounded with broken pieces of glass that I made.

"Where's dad...mom I need him as a father! You know that ever since...I can accept it if you're a mistress but him? Running away from this family is a big no!" I said while hugging my knees. I tried to control myself earlier but I didn't make it...

I hope Yeji won't come. I don't want her to see this mess. The agreement that we'll date when we're both 15— I don't wanna ruin it by what I've done today.

"Jinyoung oppa forgot my birthday too?" I laugh. I keep on laughing. I'm not insane but...I just wanna feel special today. Why can't they make it happen? I just want to feel that...they still care...

"Your brother is currently preparing for enrollment so...he said he's not gonna come.." mom stated that's why I hugged my knees tighter while clenching my fist until my knuckles turned white. "What do you want, Ryujin? I'll give you everything...just please...I'll make you happy, us alone? I can give you everything, liquor? Cigarette? New phone? Gaming computer? Baby...tell me?" she said while making her own way to me by sweeping those pieces of broken glass using the side of her closed shoes.

I want you to ask me how I feel... because my heart has been cold for years of waiting for the people to ask me that question.

"If I ask you for illegal drugs, would you? What if I do? That mom, I want to feel better and I think I need that stuff to feed my hungry imagination...will you?" I look at her with a grin but to my surprise, mom's expression didn't change. She looks terrified but not surprised.

"A-Are you sure? Coz I'll find ways, sweetie...I'll look for it if you really want that." mom stood up in front of me, trying to reach me with her trembling hands. I hit it before it could even reach my face.

"Fool. I can smoke all day long but I'm not that bad to really ask you for that. Please clean up this mess— and to tell you something, the best birthday gift you can give me is acceptance. Accept my sexuality, I love aunt Seulgi's daughter, Yeji." I got up tho my lower body feels a bit numb from sitting for too long in this corner. I passed by her without saying any other word.

Mother's love huh? Foolishness.

How can she agree with that fucking thing within a seconds and not even ask me how I'm feeling? Did she even ask? Did she even care about how I feel? She be asking what I want...but never ask me how I feel.

I went to the balcony but Yeji sprang before my eyes. How long have she been standing here...and listening to my shits in life?

She's holding a red box with a pink ribbon...looking at me without any expression. Did I fuck it up? The chance...the chance to finally call her my girl?

"Ryujin...for how long? You weren't alright for how long?" Yeji asked while standing right in front of me. I took a heavy breath before walking to the side of balcony to freely breathe some fresh air...just so the lump on my throat would vanish.