The Night Before

Chapter 31.

December 25, 1966
Christmas Day

I woke up a little past eleven in the morning. The dark skies not allowing much light into my room. My eyes were puffy and sore from crying all night. Martha laying beside me, keeping me warm. She stayed by my side all night.

"Merry Christmas baby." I kissed the top of her head. She licked my cheek and sat up with me. "What should we do today huh? Sleep? Watch television? Get an abortion? Get some plane tickets and go back home? No...we can't go back. They'll know where were at. New York?"

She licked my cheek again. I smiled.

"Martha my dear, you're a smart cookie."

..

The doctor's office was open to my surprise. As usual, I waited in the small room. Pregnant women sitting around reading magazines, gossiping, filing their nails. I was relieved when I was called in. I asked to have a check up, then hopefully bring up the fact of why I was really here.

I was laying back on the bed, watching as the doctor lifted up my shirt and spread some cold, slippery substance on me. I shivered from the cold moniter.

"I um....There's something I want to mention." I began. He stared at the small television and smiled.

"Would you like to know the sex?"

I blinked. "The se....you know already?"

"Right here right now. So, would you?"

Guilt surging through my body. I nodded and watched him point to a blank area.

"You see that?"

I nodded again.

"There's no penis."

I raised my eyebrows. "A girl. It's a girl."

"Congratulations." He smiled.

I couldn't help smiling to myself. A baby girl. My baby girl. A daughter.

"Oh I'm sorry. You were going to ask me something?"

I looked at him and shook my head. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

..

"Change of plans Martha." I said walking in the door.

I was just taking my coat off when the knocking made me jump. I froze and slowly approached the door, leaning my ear against the hard wood.

"Who is it??"

"Sadie please..."

Richard. I shut my eyes and shook my head. 

"Go away."

"Please Sadie. I need to talk to you...make things right."

I bit my lip and reached for the handle. But stopped.

"I can't Richard. You hurt me....betrayed me and let me believe something that wasn't even true."

"It's freezing out here! It's Christmas."

"Not my problem. Go home to your family!"

"Just let me see you." He answered. I hated myself for giving in. Opening the door and letting him in. He walked inside and gave a sigh of relief. 

"Go on." I said flatly. 

"I won't take much of your holiday. I just want you to know that...I'm sorry."

"Too late for that Starkey. I don't even know you anymore. You or Paul. Your whole mess of friends for that matter!" 

"I love you. I love you so much. I want to be here for the baby...I want to take care of you. Please let me."