The Night Before

Chapter 44.

I was grateful he kept his word. No calls. No appearances at my doorstep. Not even a letter. Anita's birthdays came and went. The older she got, the more her features reminded me of him. Emily could tell it still had an effect on me not having him around. Not having someone to hold onto or be a family with. But I had my sister and my little girl. And of course, Martha.

Now at five years old, Anita wasn't aware at the fact her father was one of the most famous musicians in the world. She never asked for daddy. Even when she'd wait after school to be picked up, watching other parents pick up their children. I felt kind of bad for making her wonder and question herself. I was lucky to have Emily to keep her busy.

We still lived in New York. But as Anita got older, the more crazy things got and a small apartment wasn't hardly enough room for us ladies. So together, Em and I managed to rent a small house that fit us all in. It really helped that there was school just down the street. This way I could save money for gas and make sure Anita went everyday.

September 13, 1972

"...And then we went to the libwary. Then we got back to class to draw and colour!" 

"Oh yeah? And what did you colour?" I smiled. 

"Martha!" She giggled, holding my hand tight. 

We walked home hand in hand after school and stopped to get ice cream. She looked adorable with her giant ice cream cone, bows in her hair with pig tails. It was picture day and she was the prettiest little girl at school.

When we arrived home, I set her things on the table and watched Anita run into the living room where Emily sat, painting her nails.

"So i was thinking of taking our little one to the fair." Em said, blowing on her hand.

"When?" I asked, changing the tv channel to some cartoons. Anita unaware of our conversation, glued to the tv.

"Tomorrow or Friday?"

"Anita has school." I crossed my arms. Emily just looked at me.

"She's in grade school Sadie. It's not like she's missing an exam."

I bit my lip. "I guess."

"You want to go to the fair Ani??" Emily sat up. Anita got all excited and jumped up and down.

"Yes! Is mommy coming too??"

"Of course she is." Emily said, picking her up. "Let's get you a snack alright?"

"Okie."

I watched them pass me out of the room. I cleaned up the messy coffee table and put toys away.

"I have to do laundry now! Don't fill up too much before dinner!" I yelled, making my way down the hall.

"Yeah yeah." Em said, making Anita giggle. I smiled to myself and went into my room, taking my sandals off and taking my hair down from it's messy bun. The sound of laughing and the loud tv on in the living room was a daily routine.

I made my way past the living room and into the kitchen to get dinner ready. I had barely opened the food pantry when there was a knock on the door. I groaned.

"Emily one of your boyfriend's are here!" I yelled.

"I'm not expecting anyone today! It's probably for you!" She yelled back. I sighed and set the box if mac and cheese down, giving Emily a look as I passed her. She just gave me an innocent smile.

"May I hel......"

I trailed off, staring at nobody. Only the sound of the birds chirping and the wind blowing in the trees. I shut the door and shook my head.

"Who was it?"

I shrugged. "Nobody." I said, making my way into the kitchen where I leaned against the counter, just thinking to myself.

....

We were all excited to be sleeping in the next two days. We were all getting dressed Thursday afternoon for the fair, doing each other's hair and makeup. Anita watching me that is.

"I like that colour better." She said, pointing to my red lipstick. I smiled and put some on, kissing her cheek. She giggled and kissed me back.

"Ready?" I asked, fixing her white and pink dress.

"Weaddy!" She smiled. I put one last pin in her hair and held her hand to the living room.

"Em you done??" I called out.

"Coming!" She yelled, running into the room. Martha right behind her.

"Let's go." I smiled.

..

Four hours at the fair and Anita couldn't get enough. She petted the animals, got on the carousel over and over again. Em and I taking turns with her. It wasn't until we got on the ferris wheel, she was finally getting tired. Five in the evening and her eyes were growing heavy. Chocolate and ice cream staining her dress. I held her in my arms as we got on the ride.

"Mommy can we see the animals again?" She asked sleepily.

"Maybe tomorrow baby. After this, were going home okay?"

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder, closing her eyes. I rubbed her back, just enjoying the silence and scenery as we were way at the top. Everything was so calm. Just a moment to myself. Watching families together. Kids with their mothers and...fathers. I looked down at Anita as she slept. I sighed and soon, the ride came to a stop. I got off calmly, meeting Emily and Martha as they rested at a small table.

"She finally tired?" Em smiled. I nodded and yawned.

"I think I'm a bit tired myself. She wants to come back tomorrow."

"Alright then. I was just going to order something before we leave. Want anything?" She asked.

"Surprise me." I smiled. She called Martha along and left me standing with Anita.

I was looking around at the crowded fair. Kids running around, people having fun, eating, waiting to go on a ride, playing games. That's when I saw him. With his own family. Carrying his own little one in his arms, holding another little girl's hand as she pulled him along. It's like he knew. In that moment, he met my eyes. We just stood, staring at one another from a long distance. He could see Anita...his little girl sleeping happily. It was if we were speaking through our eyes. I just gave him a smile, looking down and making my way to Emily, in an out of his life once again.

.................