The Night Before

Chapter 32.

December 31, 1966

It was New Years Eve as I sat alone at the kitchen table. I stared at the bottle of champagne, still in my robe. My hair damp from my morning shower. The slow beat from the record player filling the lonesome atmosphere.

I sighed and reached over, grabbing a glass and pouring myself a small amount of the liquid. I took a drink and smiled to myself, enjoying the coolness slide down my throat.

I was so confused with everything. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to forgive Richard. I didn't want to be a part of this lifestyle. It was all just too much. I hated everthing about this whole mess. I had a mess of a headache when the door opened and closed. Paul walked in, shrugging out of his coat and walking into the room, just stopping at the edge of the table, looking at me.

"Something wrong dear?" I asked. He pulled out a chair and sat, still watching me. I took another drink.

"You shouldn't do that. It's not right for the baby."

"Yeah well, this baby isn't your concern now is it?" I said, looking at my half empty glass. He stayed silent. "I knew you were a fuckin asshole. I just didn't know how much until I found out the truth."

"I couldn't let Richard risk his family. His life..."

"So your risk yours instead? Risk mine? You both lied to me Paul. You dragged me from my home just to let me believe lies. I'll never forgive you two for this."

"We couldn't risk the possibilites of you runnin around tellin the world who's child you were carrying. We needed to make sure you were close by."

"You both have me all wrong. I never wanted your money. Your sympathy or your fuckin roof over my head....I decided to move out. While you were gone, Richard and I had a talk. I agreed to stay in the area. I'll just be moving in a place of my choice. Alone. Just me, Martha and this baby."

"You don't have to.."

"Yeah..I do. I'm not yours to care for anymore. Now that I know the truth...things can take a different turn."

"Sadie please don't." He reached for my hand. I just watch him squeeze tightly, then looked into his eyes.

"Why did you sleep with me?" I asked quietly.

He looked away and took a breath. "I wanted you that night. I wanted to have you. In bed. In my arms. Taste you, kiss you, make love to you. It's silly. I left my number thinking that..."

"You wanted to know if we could make something more of that one night stand." I finished. He just stayed still, looking at our hands.

"I'm in love Sadie. I just don't know with who."

We were silent. Just sitting and looking at our hands. He let go and leaned over, giving me a soft kiss. Our lips pulling apart.

"Please stay."

"Paul I told you..."

"I have no reason to keep you here. If you want to leave then fine. I'm asking as a friend...."

"I can't." I whispered.

"Why not?" He pouted.

"I can't fall in love with you anymore than I already have."

He looked into my eyes, keeping his watch as I stood up, wiping my eyes and leaving the room.

..

It was late in the evening as I sat on the sofa, watching tv and eating caramel popcorn with Martha. A blanket thrown over us. I yawned the closer midnight approached.

"Can I join you?"

I looked up to see a sleepy McCartney. He was wearing loose pajama bottoms. A white shirt and messy hair to follow. I nodded and pointed to the spot next to me.

"Don't you have plans?" I asked. He shook his head, covering himself with half of the large quilt Martha and I were under.

"Nah. I mean I did...but I rather just be home." He looked at me. I blushed and nudged the tin of popcorn to him. He grabbed a handful and began eating.

We sat in silence, just watching the screen until the countdown.

"Sadie, I just want you to know that, everything that's happened, I don't want it to effect what could happen between us in the future."

"Seven, six five four..."

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Three, two...One!"

Paul leaned over and kissed me. He held my face in one hand as his lips moved on mine. I returned the favor and watched him pull away.

"Happy New Year." He said calmly. He petted Martha and got up, making his way out of the room, upstairs to get some rest.

"Happy New Year to you too." I said to myself.

..

"I can't wait to see ye later...will she be with you as well? I don't mind. Maybe John can join us for dinner?..alright then. Sounds lovely...I love ye too. Bye."

I heard Paul talking on the phone early the next morning. When he finished, I slowly walked into the kitchen, hungrier than ever.

"I made ye somethin to eat." He smiled, setting a plate of food in front of me.

I couldn't help being taken back at his kind gesture.

"Oh um, thank you Paul. You didn't have to. I could've..."

"Don't be silly love. I wanted to. New year, new start yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah. New start."

"Well look, I 'ave to be in the studio in an hour. I 'ave plans for dinner..."

"Good. It'll give me some time to pack." I stuffed some eggs in my mouth.

"Sadie. I thought we talked about this."

"We did. Please Paul, if you cared about me." I begged him with pleading eyes. He sighed and nodded.

"I suppose. I'll see ye later?" He asked.

"You will." I gave him a small smile. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"Good. Well, have a good day." He grabbed his coat and left the room, out the front door.

As soon as I heard the front door shut, I stood up and walked towards the phone, grabbing the notepad Paul used on the counter with a number and a name scribbled on it.

"You're not Jane....Michelle.." I said to myself, in heavy thought.

.......