The Night Before

Chapter 45.

I set Anita to nap, tucking her in and kissing the top of her head. Martha joined her as I closed the door half way. Emily standing in the hall, arms crossed, giving me a look.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you going to tell me what happened back there?"

I passed her, walking into the living room. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're different. When we left you were happy and bubbly. Coming home you...you were distant and in your own world. You still are. So what happened??"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "It's none of your buisness Em. Shouldn't you be out with your head in a guys lap?"

"Sadie..."

"What!? Am I supposed to act like everything is okay now?? Cause it's not! Seeing him again just reminded me of everything we shared and for years now it's sll gone! He has his own family and has his fairy tale life! I love that little girl and I just feel terrible watching her wonder why she only has one parent. It shouldn't hurt me after all this time. Then why am I fuckin crying for him!"

I sat on the sofa, tossing a pillow on the ground. Emily walked over. Sitting beside me she rested her hand on mine.

"Were talking about Paul. Aren't we."

I nodded and wiped my eyes. "He was so happy with his family. When he saw me with Anita in my arms....our daughter. Something made my heart break. It was like he just wanted to come over and hold me. Meet Anita and tell her who he really is. Get to know me....us."

Emily just listened, squeezing my hand tight. I sniffled and shook my head.

"I'm such an idiot for still loving him. It shouldn't be this way."

"Shhhh Sadie. Come here." She pulled me into her arms, holding me as I cried. That's when there was a knock on the door. We both froze and looked at one another.

"You get it." I wiped my tears.

"What if it's....him??"

Another knock. I took a breath and stood up, fanning my face. I looked back at Em for a few seconds and reached for the door handle, turning. Before there could be another knock, I opened up, standing frozen as he stood in front of me. I bit my lip and looked down.

"Paul. Wha...why are you here?"

"I wanted to tell you I was in town."

I just looked at him as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"That was you yesterday. Wasn't it?"

He nodded and kicked a rock on the ground. "Sadie..."

"Paul." Emily interrupted before I could speak. She walked over, arms crossed, feathers ruffled. I gave her a look to steady down. "I'm not a fan of waiting around and long fuckin apologies and shit. So get to why you're really here."

He just looked at her, then at me. "You both know why I'm here."

I stayed silent and looked at him. "You want to see Anita."

He nodded, but then shook his head. "I actually wanted to see you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Can we talk....privately??" He asked. I looked at Emily. She raised an eyebrow.

"Just for a few minutes."

Em rolled her eyes and left the room. I grabbed my coat off the rack and slipped it on.

"Not here. Let's take a walk."

..
Half an hour later

"So you two are having problems?" I asked, hands in pockets as we walked through a small park. We rested on a lonely bench.

"Yeah. We came on a holiday from a long tour in Europe. I just....were not getting on like we used to. I love her I do it's just...we don't connect. She wants other things. I want other things."

I nodded silently and listened on.

"Then I found your old number when I knew we were comin to New York. I called and...it was forwarded to here. I wanted to see ye so I had the call traced and got the address. I came over yesterday but got cold feet at the last minute. So I hurriedly left. Linda suggested we go to the fair to catch a break. Then I saw you and it was like a sign. I saw Anita. She's so beautiful."

I gave a small smile and looked at him, grabbing his cig from his fingers. I took a long drag and blew out.

"I have to admit...seeing you made me feel something again. I hate to admit it but..."

"Yeah?" He asked eagerly. I looked at his waiting eyes and slowly leaned up, kissing him. He stayed still, yet cupped my face in his palm, moving his warm lips with mine.

We pulled away slowly and just looked at one another. His eyes glued to mine.

"Where are you staying?" I asked.

"Some posh hotel. Linda and the kids are off out to eat."

"You must be hungry then huh?"

He smiled. "Starved."

I giggled and stood up, looking down at him. "Come on. You can be our guest for the evening. Our daughter should be up from her nap soon. Maybe tonight she'll make a new friend."

...............