Fractured from the Fall

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Lily stood in front of the flames warming herself by the fire. The bonfire rally was an Oakley High annual tradition, held the night before the big homecoming game. Usually Lily could be found laughing with Grant and his friends, sneaking sips from the flask they secretly passed around. But tonight, she stood silently in front of the fire transfixed by the flames.

"Lily? You okay?" Grant waved his hand in front of her face, snapping her out of her daze.

"What, uh, yeah, fine," she stammered.

"You seem like you're somewhere else tonight? You've kind of seemed that way all week."

"What? No, I'm fine," she said, forcing herself to smile.

"You sure?"

"Definitely," she forced another smiled and leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

But Lily wasn't fine and she was definitely distracted. Her eyes wandered over the crowd looking for Ford. She didn't know why she cared if he was there and it was infuriating that she couldn't stop thinking about him.

"So I gotta go stand with the team while coach says a few words. You good here?"

"Uh huh," Lily nodded.

Grant kissed her sweetly on the forehead which sent a pang of guilt through her heart. She hadn't really done anything wrong but she knew she felt something for Ford, and even feeling that way was a betrayal to Grant. She didn't want to hurt him. But luckily, she didn't have to, since Ford had made his feelings, or lack there of, perfectly clear.

The entire team lined up on the other side of the fire from where Lily stood. The coach made his way to the front and gave a speech about perseverance and who knows what else. Lily couldn't care less. Her eyes were focused on the coach but her brain was elsewhere. She was trying with all her might not to scan the football lineup for Ford but her eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, wandering over the faces of the players.

She spotted him, trying to hide amongst his teammates, staring off into space. Like the other players, he wore his red football jersey which fit snuggling to his body. His arms were crossed and his muscles were bulging, practically bursting the seams of his shirt. He looked good, there was no denying that. Lily  watched his chin length hair blow in the wind. He tried to tuck it behind his ears but it kept flying in front of his eyes, those beautiful piercing eyes that made Lily's heart skip a beat whenever he looked at her.

Just then his eyes met hers and it felt like an electric current shot through Lily's body. She immediately looked away, embarrassed that he had caught her staring. She tried to focus elsewhere, but she couldn't help but look back, wondering if it was just a coincidence that he happened to glance in her direction or if his gaze would still meet hers. His eyes were on her the second she looked back over at him. They stood staring at one another through the flames as they flickered into the warm evening air. A loud applause and cheers from the crowd broke Lily's gaze and brought her attention back to the coach. When Lily finally looked back, Ford was gone.

"Hey babe, whatcha think?" Grant asked once he had made his way back over to Lily.

"Of what?"

"My speech?"

Had he spoken? Was she so consumed with Ford that she hadn't even noticed? Jesus, she was a shit girlfriend, she thought to herself.

"Oh right, it was great," she lied.

Just then a group of girls and several of the players made their way out of the shadows, including Ford. His head hung down and Lily immediately reached for Grant's hand, intertwining his fingers in hers. She didn't know why she did it. All she knew was that Ford made her feel fucked up and confused and Grant felt safe and comfortable. She told herself that she needed to embrace what they had even if it wasn't perfect.