Fractured from the Fall

The Exquisite Torture

There he was. Ford Jameson. Standing outside her window in jeans, a black button up shirt and his cowboy hat. He took it off and held it in his hand, twirling it nervously. When he finally looked up at her, the look in his eyes was one she didn't recognize. He had the look of an injured fawn and it killed Lily. All of her anger immediately left her body. One look from him was all it took and she knew in that moment that he had a power over her that both scared and excited her. 

"Can I come in?" he asked softly, running his hand through his hair. Even his nervous tick, Lily found endearing.

She hesitated for a moment. Her head was yelling no, but clearly her heart didn't get the memo, as she nodded and stepped backed for him to enter.

He climbed through the window and set his hat on the bed. He stepped towards Lily and her heart fluttered. This time it wasn't the running that had Lily short of breath. It was the proximity to Ford and her overwhelming desire for someone she thought she hated just a few weeks back. How could so much change in such a short time? Or maybe it hadn't changed. Maybe it had always been there, hiding under the surface just waiting to bubble up and cause some serious trouble. Whatever it was, it was different than anything she had ever felt for Grant. Ford was right, Grant didn't make her feel the way he did, and Lily realized she wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anyone.

He kept his distance at first, which only made Lily want him to come closer.

"Tonight," he began, as he stared down at the floor, too embarrassed to meet her gaze. "I uh, I crossed the line." He raised his head, but wouldn't look her in the eyes. "I shouldn't have said what I did."

Lily waited to respond, thinking about his words.

"You shouldn't have said it," she finally said and Ford's head drooped down. His eyes dropped back to the floor. "I left because what you said made me uncomfortable."

"I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry," Ford turned to leave realizing that this was a mistake. He was crazy to think that Lily felt the same way about him. He felt foolish for even considering it was a possibility.

"It made me uncomfortable, because it was the truth."

Ford stopped in his tracks and turned to face Lily. This time his eyes were on her and the intensity of his stare sent goosebumps all over Lily's body.

"You're right," she paused for a moment, scared to say the words she'd been thinking aloud. "Grant doesn't make me feel the way you do."

Ford stepped closer.

"He doesn't kiss me the way you do."

Again, Ford moved towards Lily.

"When you look at me...when you...touch me, I..." Lily couldn't finish her sentence. She was too embarrassed to say the words.

"You what?" Ford said as he came closer, closing the distance between the two of them. Ford took her hand in his. Lily's entire body responded and she realized she didn't need to finish her sentence. The look in her eyes said it all and her lips on his told the rest.

She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him. Her body melted into his with the sweet release of his lips of hers. She wanted this. She wanted him, so much, and he knew it. She felt more vulnerable than she ever had yet so comfortable at the same time. She had put a wall up when she lost her mother, she hadn't even fully grasped the extent of it until now. But with Ford, she felt safe, she felt free, she felt like she could be herself, even if she was still figuring out exactly who that was. She felt happy for the first time in a long time, really happy She trusted him not to hurt her, which made her feel comfortable in her skin in a way that she'd never felt before.