Fractured from the Fall

Xanax & Louboutins

Lily's excitement turned to panic as memories of the past flooded her brain. She reached for her bag hoping that a Xanax might help take the edge off, but she hesitated when she saw the driver's judgmental eyes staring at her in the rearview mirror. Why couldn't he roll up that damn partition and why was she too chicken shit to tell him to? She didn't know what he was so condemnatory of, after all, more people popped pills than drank alcohol in this state. It was frowned upon to drink liquor, but pills were open season. It was hard to find a housewife that wasn't treating them like candy.

Lily returned the canister to her purse, not because of the driver's disapproving stare but because she figured, with what she was walking into, they might be better used in the next couple days. It was time to ration the goods; six mini bottles of alcohol from the plane and a small amount of weed that she had bought off of the pool boy back in Cali. She had originally hired him as a type of revenge for her husband's cheating as a way to make him jealous, but it had completely backfired. The pool boy was terrible at his job, although he looked damn fine with his shirt off. He was young, dumb and extremely good-looking; the stereotypical pool boy for the stereotypical OC housewife. She had no intention however of having an actual affair and her little experiment did little to draw her husband's attention back to her. Instead, she was left with a semi-clean pool to float around in, alone, on nights when her husband had to "work late."

A swaying motion jolted her from her thoughts as the car rocked back and forth across the uneven dirt driveway, which was filled with ruts and potholes. All this time and her father still hadn't bothered to pave it. She suddenly felt foolish arriving in a limousine. She knew her father would give her holy hell for that. She thought for a moment about having the driver stop right where he was so her father wouldn't see the limo, but the idea of walking in heels and dragging her expensive luggage through the dirt seemed worse than dealing with her father's eye rolling and head shaking. 

"Just right up there will do," Lily said pointing to a round about near the front door. If she was going to do the walk of shame, it might as well be a short one.

The limo stopped and the driver quickly hopped out and went to the trunk to gather her luggage.

"Thanks," she said giving him her best attempt at a genuine smile. She tried to slyly slip him a tip in the way her husband used to do, but it just came off awkward and she dropped a couple of the bills. Richard was an expert at slipping people money unnoticed. He had been tipping the cleaning ladies and the landscapers a little extra here and there to keep his affairs a secret from Lily. He snuck women in and out at least once per week, according to Consuela, one of the cleaning ladies that Lily had paid to give her some information. She wondered how much money had been spent on keeping his trysts hush-hush: more than she'd like to know, she was sure.

The driver seemed anxious to get back on the road and she couldn't say she blamed him. Part of her wanted to chase him down the dirt driveway and yell, "Take me with you!"

Instead, she turned to gather her bags and fumbled with her Louis Vutton trunk until she dropped it on the ground. "Dammnit!" she shouted as she bent down to pick it up. She heard the front screen slam against the doorframe.

"What, no to your door service?" What are limousine drivers coming to these days?" Her father said in a sarcastic tone.

She looked up and saw him standing on the front porch. He looked the same, older, but the same. She remembered him being taller, but other than that, he looked good, healthy. As long as he was healthy, that was all that mattered.

"Can I give you a tip?" He hollered.

"No," she yelled back, trying to maintain her pride, grab her bags and drag them across the ground by herself. But he gave her the advice anyway, because that's what he always did.

"The only heel you should be wearing in the country is on the bottom of a boot."

"Try telling that to Christian Louboutin," she shouted back.

"Christian who?"

"Nothing dad," she said, rolling her eyes. "Now are you going to continue making fun of me or are you going to help me with these bags?"

"Is both an option?" he teased.

"Dad!" She yelled in frustration.

"Alright, alright," he said, making his way down the steps to help his daughter. He walked down the front stoop and gave her a big hug, lifting her up off of the ground.

"Hi sweat pea," he said, wrapping his huge arms around her. She forgot what it was like to be hugged by her father. It had been a long time since she'd been hugged like that. When she was younger, she had wanted nothing more than for him to show her affection and to feel safe, the way little kids do in their father's arms. But he had never been a very affectionate man, which is why Lily was so surprised by her father's emotion. It was so shocking in fact that she found herself looking around, waiting for someone to pop out of the bushes and tell her that she was on some sort of prank TV show. When that didn't happen, she returned his affection by lightly patting him on the back until he released his hold on her.

"Well let's get you inside," he said, picking up her bags with ease and tucking them all under one arm. She stumbled behind him in her stilettos trying not to get the heels stuck in the cracks of the brick pathway.

"We'll put you in your room," he said. "Just like old times." He smiled and she tried to return his sentiment. She hoped it wouldn't be exactly like old times. That room had many memories attached to it that she wished she could forget.

He walked her through the front door and down the narrow hallway. He pushed open the door to her room and dropped the bags on the floor. A layer of dust proofed up off the wood and then slowly made its decent back to the floor where it had, no doubt, been resting for the last 15 years.

"I'll leave you to get ready for dinner," he said. "There are fresh towels in the bathroom if you need to rinse off."

He stood there for a moment just staring at her in the room. It had been a long time since he had even opened the door to this room, and now, here she was, standing in front of him as if no time had passed at all. But it had, and he was reminded of the years he had missed with his little girl. But when Lily looked at him as if he were crazy for just standing there staring, he was reminded that she was no longer a girl any more. She was a woman, a woman he barely knew. He gave her a small smile and turned to exit the room, shutting the door behind him.