Fractured from the Fall

The Charade

It had been a week and a half since Grant's injury at the football game and the damage was worse than it looked at the time, which was hard to imagine because it looked really bad. After a week of x-rays, cat scans, and many doctor visits, it was confirmed that Grant had suffered a compound fracture of the tibia and fibula as well as a pretty severe concussion. The healing process would take six months which meant his season was over and unfortunately, so were his chances at a college scholarship. The scouts walked away, uninterested in dealing with a quarterback with a severe injury, and why would they be; there were hundreds of other healthy quarterbacks across the country for them to pick and choose from.

Grant was devastated, but he didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't saying much other than the worse possible thing he could say which was that he was so glad he had Lily by his side to help him through this difficult time. Lily squeezed his hand when he had said the words, smiled briefly and then focused her attention out the window, trying not to cry. The guilt she felt made it difficult to breathe. She told herself that she was a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person and she would do whatever she needed to in order to make things better and be there for Grant. "He deserves better," Violet's words kept echoing in her ears.

In the meantime Lily avoided Ford like he was the plague. She couldn't even bear to make eye contact with him. She needed to stay strong and he had a way of making her heart weak just by looking at her. To her surprise, Ford stayed away too. She barely saw him at school and when he was there, his eyes were to the floor, his expression covered by his cowboy hat.

That first week, Lily went straight to the hospital every day after school. On the sixth day, when Grant was healing from surgery, she walked in to find Ford standing by Grant's bedside. They were talking quietly but as soon as Ford looked up and saw Lily in the doorway, he fell silent.

"Well, I better go," he said solemnly to Grant, and he brushed past Lily, head down to the floor as if she didn't exist. Grant, of course, thought nothing of it. He assumed Ford's attitude was just his usual contempt towards Lily: irritated that he was second fiddle to Lily, and Lily was beginning to wonder if Ford actually felt that way. She knew why she was staying away from him, but she couldn't figure out why Ford was avoiding her. The pain in Lily's heart grew more and more as time went on. She missed Ford. She wanted to be with him, but she knew she couldn't and his disdain for her, broke her heart. Her head knew she was doing the right thing by staying away, but her heart ached for Ford. It had all changed in the blink of an eye. She, so badly, wanted to go back to that night under the bleachers before the game when it was just the two of them kissing and laughing.

By week three, Lily's new schedule involved going over to Grant's house after school and bringing him his school work. They would spend the night doing homework together. Thankfully, Grant was too exhausted and in too much pain to try, or even want to, make out with Lily. Their relationship was strictly platonic, for the time being, which at least made things somewhat easier for Lily. She didn't know how she was going to return to being intimate with him when all she could think about was Ford. She was ashamed to say that sometimes, when Grant would wrap his arm around her, as they sat side by side on the couch, she would close her eyes for a moment and pretend it was Ford. She hated herself for doing that, both because it was unfair to Grant, and because it was clear that Ford had all but forgotten about her. She was mad at herself for hurting Grant and even more mad at herself for wanting Ford.

By November, Grant was back at school. He struggled with his crutches and often times became extremely angry, throwing them to the ground. Lily was always there to pick them up and to metaphorically pick Grant up as well. She'd talk him off the ledge and help him to focus on taking it one day at a time. She never once though, uttered the words, "everything is going to be okay" because she honestly didn't know if it was going to be okay and she knew Grant would see right through the lie. His entire world had changed the moment he had gotten hit at that game. The least Lily could do was give him some semblance of stability so that it didn't feel like his entire world was falling apart.