Fractured from the Fall

Falling Apart

The holidays had come and gone and Lily for one was grateful they were over. Juggling time with Grant and his family while sneaking around with Ford, was starting to take its toll. She hadn't been feeling well. And while things were great between her and Ford, life for Grant was spiraling downward. The pain from his injuries was becoming unmanageable. Lily watched as Grant began taking more and more pain pills and once he had run out, and the doctor had denied his request for refills, he turned to alcohol to lessen his pain. Grant's drinking increased at a rapid pace. He used to only drink at parties in the off season, but without football to focus on and his future at college stripped away, he didn't have much to keep him on track.

On a chilly February morning, Lily stood in her usual spot by her locker waiting for Grant. He was late, which wasn't entirely unusual these days. Most mornings he showed up at the last minute, disheveled, as if he'd just rolled out of bed, which was the polar opposite of his previously always-put-together-yet-in-an-effortless-kind-of-way look. Lily felt queasy and searched the hallway anxiously. Her eyes wandered over the throngs of students when Benny approached.

"Grant's in trouble," he stated very matter-of-fact. Benny was the kind of guy who was always joking around, so when he was serious, Lily knew it meant something was really wrong.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked in concern. "What happened?"

"It's not what happened, it's what's happening. He's blitzed out of his mind and stumbling around the middle of the football field."

"Jesus," Lily replied and her heart sank. Like being late to class, Grant showing up drunk to school wasn't entirely unusual either, but being completely wasted before noon was a new low.

"What can I do?" she asked.

"He won't listen to me or any of the other guys. Ford might be able to get him under control but I can't find him anywhere. Coach has been lenient in the past with some of Grant's screw ups because of what...ya know...happened."

Even since Grant's accident everyone danced around talking about it. No one dared to say the actual words.

"But Grant's super drunk," he continued. "If Coach finds him like this I don't think he's gonna be able to look the other way. I'm worried Grant's gonna be in some serious trouble. I thought maybe you could get through to him and convince him to go home."

"Of course," Lily nodded. "I'll take care of it. Thanks Benny," she laid her hand on his shoulder in appreciation. He was always a good friend to Grant, even possibly his best friend, now that Ford had mainly gone MIA because of his guilt.

She shut her locker and immediately headed towards the field.

She found Grant just where Benny had said, wasted and stumbling around the middle of the field, waving his arms in the air with a flask in hand. Lily made her way towards him. The ground was cold and hard but there wasn't any snow. It had been a long time since they'd had a good snowfall.

"Grant, what are you doing?" Lily asked as she approached.

"Oh, ya know," he said, taking a swig from the flask. "Just re-living the glory days," he laughed, but his chuckle was dark and filled with pain.

"Come on, we should go. If anyone catches you out here you'll be in big trouble."

"So?" he said, taking another swig. "What are they going to do to me? I've already lost my scholarships, my chance at a football career, my entire future. What more could they possibly take from me? I don't have anything left to lose."

Lily stood silently. Me, she thought to herself, and it felt like the pain of her guilt might swallow her whole. She didn't know what to say. What could she say? It'll be fine. I'll all work out. You'll still have a great life anyway. Bullshit. It was all a bunch of feel-good bullshit that she knew Grant would see right through. Lily didn't know what to say but she certainly knew what not to say. It would just piss Grant off more and right now she needed to help him calm down.