Fractured from the Fall

Best-Laid Plans

The clouds in the distance darkened as Lily rode her bike down the bumpy dirt rode. It looked like it might start raining at any moment. The impending storm would make for an easy excuse to back out and turn around, but instead she picked up the pace, pedaling faster towards the house.

Lily rode up the driveway and swung her leg over the frame, hopping off while it was still slightly in motion. She walked her bike to the front door and rested it up against the side of the house. She took a deep breath and then knocked, but no one answered. She knocked again, but still no answer. She cupped her hands around her eyes and pressed up against the glass next to the door. The house was dark and empty. 

She made her way around the back and saw a figure standing in the distance on top of the hill. It was a bit of a hike from where she stood and she couldn't ride her old Schwinn across the field, especially with the possibility of lightening, so she slowly made her way over to him, trudging through the tall grass, again grateful for her comfortable Keds.

"Hi," she said when she finally made it to Ford. He stood with a shovel in his hands, doing some sort of ranch maintenance. His hair was slightly damp from sweat and dark strands hung down in front of his eyes. He flicked them back away from his face and wiped his brow with the back of his forearm. His jeans were dirty and his black T-shirt was soaked with perspiration in a few places, causing the fabric to cling to his muscles. Lily couldn't help but ogle and she hoped he didn't notice. 

"Hey," he replied, tossing the shovel to the ground and reaching for his hat that hung from a branch on the tree. Did he seem angry, annoyed? She couldn't tell.

"What are you doing here? Did you come to say goodbye this time?"

This time. The words reverberated in Lily's ears, reminding her of the pain she had caused. He wasn't going to make this easy on her, not that he should.

"I came to talk to you," she said, ignoring his thinly veiled comment.

"Didn't hear a truck pull up," he replied, looking toward the house. "How'd you get here?"

"Rode my bike."

"Your bike?" he asked in surprise.

"It's part of my new 'own less, experience more', philosophy. Plus you know, exercise and being outdoors is supposed to be good for you and release endorphins, blah blah blah." Lily was trying to lighten the mood but Ford's face remained unreadable. She couldn't gauge how he was feeling about her coming back, but it was too late to worry about that now.

"So buying a bike, does that mean you're staying? I figured you would have split by now."

Lily nodded. She understood his irritation. 

"It's taken me a long time, but I've finally realized that when I leave someplace, I still carry the problems with me that I thought I left behind. I think I've been so busy running from who I didn't want to be, that I never stopped to figure out who I actually am." She took a deep breath and released it. "But I feel more like myself now, here, in this place...with you, then I've ever felt in my whole life."

Lily was nervous for his response. She honestly didn't know what he would say and she wasn't sure she could handle the rejection.

Ford was quiet for what felt like an eternity. Then he removed his hat, ran his hand through his hair and placed it back on his head. She'd seen him do that a lot over the years and it only made her more nervous for his response.

"Maybe we're just not meant to be," he finally said.

Lily nodded. Maybe he meant it. Maybe he said it to try and protect himself from getting hurt again. She knew there was a really good chance that this wouldn't go the way she was hoping, but more importantly, she understood what he meant. The same thought had crossed her mind, but so had another thought.