Fractured from the Fall

Back to Her Boots

Lily ran her hand over the row of clothes hanging in her closet. She couldn't believe some of the things she used to wear almost as much as she couldn't believe that some of them had come back in style. Who would have thought plaid shirts tied around your waist, Doc Martens and choker necklaces would make a comeback?

She pulled a white sun dress from the closet and held it up to herself in the mirror. A line of brown buttons ran down the center of the dress. This was by far her favorite outfit back in the day. She wore it, well probably, way too often. It was one of the few outfits she always felt comfortable in and not just comfortable, but pretty. Despite her good looks, her confidence wasn't always the best in high school.

Lily pulled the white cotton dress over her head and shimmied it down her body. It was a little bit tighter and a little bit shorter, but it still fit her well. It still accentuated her in all the right places and most importantly, it made her feel young and attractive again. Richard's philandering  had taken a toll on her self confidence. 

She undid her hair from the bun she had put it in earlier that day when it was still wet. Long tendrils of dirty blonde hair fell around her shoulders in loose waves. She reached for her makeup bag and applied a little bit of concealer under her eyes, some mascara and a light coat of lipstick. There was only one more thing she needed to complete her look. She got down on her hands and knees and felt around towards the back of the closet. When she surfaced from the mess of clothing and shoes, she held her favorite pair of cowboy boots in her hands. They were brown with flowers and spirals etched into the soft worn leather. The toes were scuffed and the heels were broken in. She had worked hard to get them to look this way. Having shiny new boots wasn't cool. They needed to be loved. They needed to be lived in and Lily had done a lot of that before she ever dared wear them to school. She spent weeks walking around the house in her boots, morning, noon and night, not to mention doing extra errands around the ranch just to achieve that perfect broken-in effortless sort of look which took far too much effort to achieve.

"I'm surprised you haven't slept in them," her father joked when he saw her shuffling around the kitchen in nothing but her nightgown and boots one morning her sophomore year. She tried to ignore his joke as she sat half awake at the kitchen table eating her cereal while moving her feet around to an imaginary beat in order to scuff up the bottoms and break in the heels.

Lily reached for her purse, but realized there was no need to bring it to the party. Her cell phone was laying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean somewhere and her father never locked the front door so there was really no reason to bother carrying around a purse all night. Plus, all she had was her enormous Hermes bag which would look beyond ridiculous with her outfit. Cowboy chic circa 1999 and a $10,000 bag didn't really mesh well together.

The bedroom door made a loud squeak as she tried unsuccessfully to close it quietly so she wouldn't have to see her father before she left. As good as she felt in her old clothes, and even though her father had suggested it, she was embarrassed for some reason to be seen by him in this dress and boots. 

"Now that's the Lily I remember." Her father sat up from his favorite spot in the beat up recliner  he had strategically placed in the living room so that he could see when his daughters were coming and going without ever having to leave the comfort of his chair. Lily was almost positive that he had a cooler stashed somewhere nearby because he never seemed to budge from that seat in the evening, yet he always had a fresh cold beer.

"You sure I don't look ridiculous?" she asked, doing a little twirl.

"No more so than your last outfit." 

Lily rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. She knew he was messing with her.

"There's just one thing missing," he said pointing to the hall closet. Lily opened the door and smiled when she saw her old jean jacket. 

"Oh man, I used to love this thing." She reached for it and immediately slipped it on. 

"Still fits," her father grinned. Seeing her dressed like his, almost made him feel like he had his Lily back. "You look beautiful Lily Pad."

"Thanks dad." 

There was an awkward pause between the two of them. She wasn't sure if she should go over and give him a hug or not, so she opted for not.

"I won't be out too late," Lily said heading towards the door.

"That would be a first," her father scoffed and Lily turned around and gave him a sassy look with her eyebrows raised, clearly not appreciating his humor.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." He held up his hands in defeat. "Stay out as late as you want." 

"Why couldn't you have been this cool when I was younger?" she teased.

"We both know the answer to that." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms returning the look she gave him moments earlier. She chose to ignore his jab at her teenage recklessness.

"You need a ride?" he hollered after her as she headed down the hall. His bottom was still glued to his chair and he leaned way back trying to see her as he spoke.

"Already got one," she said grabbing the keys to her father's truck from the hook that hung by the front door.

"Do you still know how to drive stick?" he yelled, slightly terrified of what she might do to his treasured 1970's Chevy.

"'Bout to find out," she said as she shut the door letting the screen slam behind her. Her father couldn't help but smile. This was the Lily he loved. She was brazen and bold with a little bit a sass. He knew she was still in there: the girl who wouldn't take shit from anyone. She just needed to get back to her roots, or maybe just her boots.