hating me for loving you {h.s}

Chapter 24.

TW: Mentions of drugs and traumatic events.

(Play the song whenever you feel like like:)

PHOEBE'S POV:

Today is the day I finally see my mom.

And let me tell you, I'm already in a shitty mood and I'm not even fully awake.

We flew back to Los Angeles a day or two ago, I honestly can't remember because of how busy we've been ever since we got back. I didn't know it'd be this hectic, but here we are as always.

I stayed at Harry's place last night, I found myself not wanting to be alone one bit so I called him, we ate ice cream, and did some other shit.

Yes, by "other shit," I mean what we always do. I sucked him off and he ate me out, nothing knew and most girls would start to get bored. But, it's Harry. I'll never get bored nor complain at how sex driven he is.

I have a very big sex drive, so us together... it's unbelievable.

He always knows how to please me, and when something new comes along with the generic routine, it's surprising and honestly, it's very exciting to see what either of us does next.

Let's just leave it at this... we're both sleeping very well.

I'm sitting here with my eyes closed, my head on Harry's chest as I felt his breath keep steady.

It was a nice way to wake up, I swear to god I could've gone into my subspace at some point, but it's never happened to me before so I don't know.

I remember that night and last night, only because of how sore my body still is from riding Harry's face, but I got what I wanted out of it, so I'm not complaining.

Harry and I always do this. We always sit here and wonder if one of us is actually awake, but I know he's for sure sound asleep.

He didn't know I wanted to go see mom today, I think I'll end up keeping that way until I get home.

Harry knows I can't keep shit like this from him, a little note will at least keep him at ease until I get back.

The thing is, I didn't wanna get up. Feeling his soft skin against mine, it's only the best reminder of how much I have of him.

It's a reminder of the only safe thing I have right now.

Sure, we used to do this all the time. Cuddling was always an easy thing for us... But never after doing anything sexual. And that's because we were too scared to admit our feelings, leading to sexual things.

Am I complaining that I have him like this? Absolutely not.

I just never thought things would end up like this, but I'm happier than I ever have been.

I have new friends, new experiences, even a new side of Harry I never thought I'd ever see.

I'm grateful for the opportunities they've given me in this life. But in order for me to have the right mindset, I need to talk to my mother.

It's a shit way to finally feel free, but if it's what needs to be done, I'll do it.

We haven't talked in a long time, but the last time I talked to Spencer was the last time I talked about her, and I wish I could've kept it there.

Considering she got the one memory back that we all thought would stay buried deep, I had to go see her. I don't care if it's five minutes or even one, I need to do this for me.