Vampire Days

Chapter 16: Convo

I wonder if Austin took care of himself when he got home. I wonder if he was thinking about me while he's doing it.

"Maybe I should go visit him tonight?" I murmured while staring at the mess on my table. I'm not in the mood to organize my stuff but I don't want to contribute to Champion's stressful campus life especially after a full schedule of daily activities. He's not the type to just crash and go and would rather buzz around to deal with the mess even if it's not on his side of the room.

If my mother could see me now she'd be so proud that I'm being considerate.

"See. You can do it if you try," she'd always tell me.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside the heads of overly diligent people like Champion and my mother. Can't they see that they are mostly doing the most pointless things like organizing and reorganizing stuff that are bound to be used again? And that the laundry is an endless cycle of wash and wear and you can only break it if you go out naked for a whole day? What's so fun about doing the same thing over and over again? Having everything in order is boring.

But then again, some people like the most boring things. And some people choose to like the most boring people.

Shit! Maybe Austin doesn't like me because I'm boring?!

I'm starting to overthink again when I noticed Austin's phone peeking from under a stack of my books. I pulled it out and sniffed it with my eyes closed. It smelled strongly of him and his expensive perfume that smells like a mix of flowers but milder. It reminds me of a thin, see-through cloth that slides gently on my fingers. I remember the smell from a fashion magazine I flipped at the used bookstore I went to last month.

The phone suddenly rang that I almost threw it away but the caller ID says Jade so I immediately picked it up, getting foolishly excited with the prospect of hearing his voice.

"I left my Austin phone in your room," Austin said coolly. Can't even bother to say an evening greeting.

"Yeah, I noticed. So you have a Jade phone?" My face is ripping from too much smiling but I can't possibly chill. "I've just found it actually. You called because you missed me, didn't ya?" I joked but he didn't bite.

"Okay."

"Don't hang up!" I quickly blurted out. He went silent but he didn't hang up either, which was  a good sign. Dealing with him is like taming a feral kitten. It requires patience and a whole lot of careful steps. "I missed you, Austin!"

"Eww, gay," he said. I know what he's trying to do and it won't ever work on me.

"So what if I am?"

Truth be told, I don't know shit about my sexuality. It's the least of my problems back at home where I was preoccupied with other thoughts like being a failure and trying to live like a plant on days that I'm stuck in my room. The friends I had were straight people, as far as I know, who enjoy the company of everyone else as long as you're not trying to ruin the fun.

And I don't know how genders work, like what it would make me if I go out with Austin. He once mentioned that he's certainly not a trans and isn't comfortable with the thought of it. He also said that he doesn't mind the "he/him" pronouns I use on him. I guess I'm the only one who refers to him that way and I'm hoping it makes me special.

What I do know about my sexuality, though, is that his penis doesn't intimidate me at all. My poor mother.

"Don't be greedy. You already have someone better," he said. I could hear the bitterness in his voice. "A real girl, no less."