Play No More (Player Next Door sequel) ✓

95 | A nano-second

Shoutout to @blueberryonthetop for this lovely poster!  An angle that gives me vertigo

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Chapter 95: A nano-second

I don't think I can handle a breakup.

Luke said that the scariest twenty seconds of his life was when he ran from his house to mine. My scariest twenty seconds? I'm looking at it.

I felt my chest tighten, but maybe that's because of my bra size - what an insane comment for him to make. What is wrong with him?! He goes from kissing my neck to saying we may not be right for each other?!

A break-up would break me.

"My mom is about to come home," I whispered, almost surprised that I had any breath left in me, "Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow?"

Or never.

I haven't slept. Today has been an endlessly long and terrible day. A stream of events that went from bad to worse. And my mom was coming home, I hadn't lied about that. But I also hadn't told the truth – that I was terrified of hearing his feelings.

I couldn't take on such a heavy conversation right now. I'd probably break down in front of him or yell something I'd regret. Talking about if we can change, if we don't want to change... what happens if our answer is no?

"Fine," Luke nodded, slowly pulling his hand away from mine, "We can talk tomorrow. You should sleep."

He stood up while I stayed seated on the edge of the bed. Maybe he was just being the realistic one.

"Will you call me if you can't sleep?" he asked. His voice was soothing and deep, "I know your mom's back but I can climb the window-"

"I'll be fine tonight," I said, already feeling at a loss for words, "If she's home and Flora's home... I think I'll be fine."

"Just call me," he repeated and leaned down to kiss me on my forehead.

My forehead.

**

Ten minutes after Luke Dawson walked out of my bedroom, I slept.

The events of the day had knocked all the energy out of me. With tiredness, I feel the optimism leak out of my body. I was looking forward to tomorrow, just to get rid of the stench of today.

My sleep was so deep that I didn't dream. Time passed and I had no idea if my mom came home, if she watched TV in the living room or went straight to her room.

I had no idea if Luke went back to his place or if he took his car and drove somewhere else.

My batteries needed to charge. They were long on empty.

**

I woke up and checked the time on my phone.

7 AM.

I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

**

I woke up again and saw the sunlight outside my window. I hadn't drawn the blinds last night and then I realized I hadn't even changed out of my clothes.

Or brushed my teeth.

I rolled over in bed and slowly got up. I pressed my hand to my head, feeling groggy from the many hours of sleep. But it's what I needed. It's what I desperately needed.

The drawer of my bedside table was partly open and I saw the butcher's knife in it. For a split second I thought it was Halloween.

Then I remembered: it's just Saturday. I picked the knife up and walked downstairs, deciding to return it to its place. Except that I'd forgotten how I didn't live alone anymore.