STAR WARS IMAGINES

poe dameron | even when we fight

not requested just feeling; 1.1k words

Poe would be lying if he said that his life was perfect. There were plenty of sleepless nights with him working late, heated arguments between him and his wife as he missed another important moment in his daughter's life, difficult moments as he and her faced away from one another in the bed they shared.

Life wasn't perfect. Not at all. But he loved it. He loved you. He married young, asking for your hand before he was recruited into the Resistance. It was most certainly a rushed decision to marry you, but it wasn't one that he would ever bring himself to regret.

Everything about you was perfect. There was no doubt in his mind, as skeptical as he was about the Force, that something played a part in creating you so incredibly close to the dream he always hoped for. Beautiful and kind, brave and stern, funny and protective. You'd take a blaster shot for him in a second and you'd give up all of your strength to lift him high when he was down and you were just beautiful. Physically, mentally, emotionally --- so beyond pretty or beautiful or gorgeous. You loved him unconditionally. Even when you were screaming at him with tears of hurt in your eyes, he knew you loved him. He never doubted it, not even once. 

Everything he was and everything you were came together to create the most perfect little girl that you named Shara Leia, much to Poe's disbelief and gratefulness. Given the names of two grandmothers she would never have the chance to meet, she carried their legacy. Shara's bravery. Leia's charm. Shara's beauty. Leia's dedication to those she loved. Just as you and Poe were obsessed with your little girl, she was obsessed with you and him, somehow taking care of her parents just as they took care of her.

"I would be lost without her," Poe said. His mind was dwelling on the existence of his daughter. His mother passed away over twenty years ago. Leia passed away less than a year ago. Both of his mothers were no longer around, but his daughter was. She arrived when he needed her the most, capturing his heart so that when Leia passed, the pain of grief did not consume him. As he wondered and thought of the grace the galaxy had offered him in the form of the little girl you'd carried so strongly for nine months, he watched you and her. Dinner was over, and his five year old was draped over your lap, her head on your shoulder, mouth opened in an 'o' shape as she slept soundly and deeply.

"Me, too." You stroked her hair and kissed her head. You were sitting in a rocking chair, turned slightly away from him. You shut your eyes and leaned your head on the back of the chair.

"I would be lost without you, too," he said. He wasn't planning on confessing this. It was hardly even a confession. Surely you knew, maybe only once upon a time, that he would lose everything about himself without you.

Or maybe you didn't really know anymore. Your eyes opened and you looked shocked and a little confused by the comment. You whispered this time, your eyes locking on his. "Me, too."

You returned to stroking Shara's hair slowly, eyes on her peaceful face. Poe watched you and decided this was the prettiest he had ever seen you. Heartachingly beautiful, taking care of his child and wearing his ring that once belonged to his mother and choosing to be with him.

"I don't say it enough. You deserve to hear it every single day, and I am sorry that I haven't told you enough lately, but I love you."

His words were hanging in the air and he couldn't remember the last time he told you that he loved you. He thought it constantly --- he must've thought it every single day --- but he could not place when he had last told you.

And just as they did when you were the sixteen year old girl he fell in love with on Kijimi, your eyes widened and gleamed and he could feel how his words filled you.

"I love you, too," you whispered. "I don't say it enough either, and I wish I did."

He stood up and crossed the room. Kneeling at the side of your chair, he stroked the side of your head where all of your hair cascaded over your shoulder. You leaned into his touch and he leaned up to kiss the dip of your shoulder.

"We yell too much."

"Yes," you agreed. "We do. I wish we didn't, but I'm glad that we do at the same time. That means we are doing something right, right? Fighting for each other. For our family. If we ever stopped, we'd be giving up."

"That's true," he admitted. "I couldn't give up on you, baby. But I don't want to yell at you anymore either."

"We could just stop," you said. You laughed quietly at your own comment. If only it was that easy. "It shouldn't be that hard, right?" 

"Right." He grinned at you and ran his hand through your hair again. "I promise you that I will be better for you. I'll try harder and be less difficult and---" 

You shook your head and silenced him with a kiss. "I love you, Dameron."

"I love you, too. But---"

"You don't have to promise me anything," you said. "We are just going through a rough patch. It isn't a big deal. We've been through worse. So long as I go to bed thinking that you still love me and knowing that you're giving up your life for this family just as I am, I believe you. That you'll do better. I've always believed you." 

"Even when we fight?" 

"Even when we fight," you promised. You kissed him again. "You don't have to worry, Poe. Giving up isn't in my nature, and it isn't in yours either. I know that I won't be giving up on our marriage and I know that you won't be, either."

He smiled and nodded. "Your confidence is admirable."

"Isn't it, though?" You shifted your daughter in your arms and Poe got off his knees and held out his arms. "Oh, are you taking her to bed?" 

"Yeah," he said, grunting softly as he moved her off your lap. "It's been a while since I've done it." 

"She'll be so happy that her daddy is tucking her in," you said, giving her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. "Make sure you sing to her before you leave her room. She loves hearing your voice."

"I'll make sure to," he said. He looked down at her peaceful face, as beautiful as the stars above. As breathtaking as her mother. 

Before he took her to her bedroom, he had to kiss you again, nearly knocking you off your feet. Just like when the two of you were younger. Life wasn't perfect. But you surely were.