GO WHITE BOY GO|Marauders Era

Redamancy

(n.)- the act of loving the one who loves you:
A love returned in full.

Prepare your hopeless romantic selves.

HAYDEN.

I was never one to easily fall in love, in fact ever since my ex I was scared to.

Scared to love someone to my fullest ability, scared to put the weight of all my trust onto someone's shoulders, even scared to open up again.

But he. Remus John lupin, not only did he change that oh no. He returned it in favor. He gave me all of his love, all of his trust, and man when I tell you all of his love is a lot, it really is.

He's allowing me to love him the way he deserves it. I remember the way he hugged me when he came back from Christmas break. I remember it almost hurt, but in a good way- as if he wanted me to sink into him, keep me inside his body. I remember not breathing. I remember not needing to... because for once, somebody breathed for me, somebody lived for me. And I remember being so utterly, completely happy.

And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to hold onto anyone who follows, nobody else will ever hold me that way. Nobody will even come close. No one else ever held me so tightly.

You know the saying " you can't love somebody else if you don't love yourself first" that's not entirely true.

Remus. He taught me how to love myself, long after I started loving him, and honestly when I first did start falling in love with him I thought he was too good for me and it scared me how quickly I was falling into love with him. I stayed up all night thinking about how many ways this thing could go.

And when we finally got together, it wasn't so scary, cause it turned out a different way then I thought would.

JAMES.

The day before we left for Christmas break he kissed her. Without warning, without permission. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn't do anything else. He needed that breath she was holding, It belonged to him, and he wanted it back.

From that day on, you could just tell they fancied each other, but as the days went on, the more you could tell it was as more than just a crush. They loved each other, and yes you could say that teenagers don't know what love is, but I mean come on.

Have you seen the way they look at each other?

They look at each other like they put the stars in the sky, and ironically they both love astronomy. Practically made for each other.

And Hayden, I don't think she realizes how deep she really is. I catch her all the time looking at him like they had just met. Sometimes you cant even snap her out of it.

One day in divination I told her she should just tell him how she feels and she said. " I'm certain I love with the entire force of the universe, and it feels too much to ask another human to take that in."

And I honestly was speechless, I've heard other people afraid of not giving enough love, but someone who's afraid of giving too much really set me on edge and made me think for a while.

I only wish lily would look at me the way hayden looks at Remus.

REMUS.

I never thought someone could love me. I never thought someone could give honestly and truthfully be so completely in love with me that it hurt.

I mean yes I would dream of it, but I used to think that would be enough. To dream of love would be enough for me, but then hayden Jimenez changed it.

She doesn't see me the way I see myself, and to be completely and utterly honest I don't think that highly of myself still, but she showed me that all I needed was a little push.

And she sure as hell pushed me.

I tried to push it away at first. The feelings. I thought maybe if I push them down for awhile they could potentially go away. But no.

The longer I did, the stronger my feelings became. The 5'2 brown haired sixteen year old girl came into my life and changed it for the better.

So, may my heart be the softest place she falls, and may this love be the wildest place she runs. 

A/N- so, I know this chapter is short, but I really wanted to give a background on their love.

I know this chapter may be a little bit cheesy, but in all honesty I sobbed whole writing this.

I honestly love this type of love.

Yk the hopeless romantic girl, gets a romance story

AND BTW THIS MIGHT SEEM LIKE THE END OF THE BOOK BUT IM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHING THIS.

Anyways have a good day my lovelies